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Body Language + Baselines = Negotiation Success

Business Man - Body Language + Baselines =

Photo Courtesy of StockVault

Andrew Boughton, a managing partner of Edge Negotiation Group and Humintell’s affiliate, spoke with Psychology Today and broke down the main points of being a successful negotiator.

Boughton also wrote a chapter in Dr. Matsumoto’s latest book; Nonverbal Communication: Science and Applications. In Boughton’s chapter as well as in his other work, he discusses how paying attention to nonverbal communication is a crucial skill for many business professionals and for communicating in today’s diverse world, “Nonverbal communication can provide a huge advantage in any negotiation.”

Paying attention to body language can help you to read someone emotionally. One of Boughton’s tips is to look for signs of the seven universal facial expressions of emotion (7 in total: anger, happiness, disgust, contempt, fear, sadness, and surprise).

He especially encourages people to look for happiness above the other six,
“You have to constantly look for happiness leaking out of the other party indicating acceptance or at least pleasure with your proposal.”

The leakage Boughton refers to is the unintentional, subconscious expressions of emotions, which “leak” out very quickly via a person’s facial expressions even if they are trying to conceal how they truly feel.  Boughton explains that in order to pick up on facial “leaks” one must have a baseline for the person they are observing.

A baseline of people’s regular behaviors and actions is essential.   A baseline can be established by having a small talk before a negotiation or interview.  Ask non business questions in order to see how the person responds. Once in the interview phase, you will have something to compare their body language to.

“People lie when they negotiate.  They exaggerate their strengths, conceal their weaknesses, and omit pertinent details in order to get a better deal.”

Detecting Deception tips:

– Establish a Base Line

– Look for Leakage in the form of the seven universal facial expressions of emotion – Microexpressions and Hot Spots

– Partner Up- One person can be there to observe the actions while the other person handles the responses.

When trying to detect deception it is important to not rush to conclusions. 

Be efficient and quick if you need to but do not rush! You could miss out on important signs.

What Would You Do?

At the last supper the apostle Peter said to Jesus, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” Jesus told him, “I tell you the truth. This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” Peter protested, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And the rest is history – Peter did deny the Lord three times before sunrise.
I love that story because it reveals Peter’s humanity and ultimately the forgiveness of Jesus. I also believe it tells us something about each of us as individuals – we never really know how we will act until a situation is upon us.
I believe Peter meant what he said with all of his heart. To his credit he was ready to die for the Lord when he drew his sword and cut off the Roman slave’s ear. However, he wasn’t ready when the situation changed slightly. In the early morning in the courtyard outside the temple when he was under no physical threat he denied knowing Jesus when asked directly three times.
Quite often we “think” we know what we’d do in a situation. We would never participate in the holocaust; we would have done something about Jerry Sandusky had we been at Penn State; we would not have participated in segregation in the South even if we had grown up there. Then social psychology comes along and bursts our bubble with experiments that show us otherwise. For example:
We believe we could resist the pressure to conform (consensus) if we knew we were right. That’s what people assumed going into the Asch conformity experiments in the 1950s. And yet, an amazing number gave into the crowd and went along with them even though their senses told them they were correct, not the crowd.
Most of you reading this believe you’d never harm another person just because an “authority” insists that you do so. The participants in Stanley Milgram’s obedience experiment in 1961 probably thought the same thing going into the experiment. However, two-thirds eventually gave a series of 30 shocks with the last being 450 volts!
The college students in the 1971 Stanford prison experiment probably thought they’d never behave sadistically when acting as prison guards just because of the environment. After all, the late ‘60s and early ‘70s were known for young people railing against the establishment, not conforming to it. In reality the students were so sadistic the two-week experiment was halted after just six days!
When it comes to how we’ll react in stressful situations we often overestimate our goodness and underestimate the impact of people in positions of authority, the environment we’re in, and the pressure we feel from others to conform.
Not everyone gave in during those experiments and maybe, just maybe, you’d be one of those who would have resisted. However, most people did give in so we’d be a little arrogant to just assume we’re so different than those ordinary people that we’d always do the right thing.
So what’s a person to do? Peter tried relying on his willpower and we know how that turned out. Heck, he was even told explicitly what he’d do and that wasn’t enough for him to catch himself and make a different choice.
Wouldn’t it be better to understand how people typically think and behave? If you have that understanding it can create the self-awareness you might need to make a better choice should you find yourself in a situation where you know the right thing to do but feel paralyzed by fear. That fear can be rejection from the crowd, retribution from the authority or the feeling of powerlessness in the situation.
This is where social psychology comes in handy because quite often our hunches about human behavior are incorrect. Dan Ariely wrote two books about this very subject; Predictably Irrational and The Upside of Irrationality. I encourage you to keep checking in with Influence PEOPLE each week. An investment of five minutes might be all it takes for you to catch yourself and make a better choice than Peter did and most people in the experiments I mentioned.

** To vote for Robert Cialdini, President of Influence At Work, for the Top Management Thinker of 2013

The Answer is Reciprocity

What could make a concept circulate via news and social media for 13 years that does not include a scam warning, a joke or someone doing something stupid?  The answer is Reciprocity!

On Friday I read a post on LinkedIn that contained this picture:

 The Answer is Reciprocity

What was your reaction when you read it?

Mine was: Wow! 

As a student of Persuasion I was impressed at the simplicity of the approach yet the absolute power of its message.

For context here is the back story.  This particular sign is in the window of Plaza Dry cleaners in Portland Oregon and there are links to it on their Yelp page dating back to October 2011.

But it didn’t start there.  A New York Daily article from 2011 traced this “free dry cleaning for unemployed people looking for work” approach to an Upper East Side dry cleaner, First Professional Cleaners.  The owners Carlos and Arelis Vasquez first posted the handwritten sign after September 11 as their way of giving a helping hand to those in need.  Carlos Vasquez said the approach had paid dividends with many people who used the service and then secured jobs.  Vasquez would take the sign down when employment was high and posted again it when times got tougher such as after the GFC.

It is no surprise that the idea got news and social media attention and in 2011 it went viral with dry cleaners all over the US following suit (no pun intended).

Vasquez’s gesture however; of giving to those who need a hand, at a time they need it  most; was meaningful to the recipient; it was customised for the job seeker, in that it was not an option that was open to everyone in the community; and it certainly was unexpected for most.

Therefore the very simple message contained in a handwritten sign saw a well intended gesture turn into a 13 year viral international marketing campaign.  How does your marketing stack up to that?

Here’s the Challenge for You

By giving first and triggering Reciprocity, what impact do you think a sign such as this have on a small community business?

Here are my views on the impact to the business:

1.  The business will directly benefit from those who take up the offer.

If they get a job they will need to clean their clothes somewhere – obvious Reciprocity.
They will create a raving fan/advocate for the business who will tell everyone about the service and why they love them so much! Simple Consensus at play.
Even if the unemployed customer doesn’t get the job, they will still be positively engaged with the business and spread the word about the good deeds of the business who at least tried to help them out – the businesses success is not tied to the outcome of getting the job.  The relationship was formed in helping them try and get it!

2.  Those who currently use the dry cleaner will feel better about the type of business they use to clean their clothes.  They will be more inclined to remain loyal to that business for longer because of what they stand for and the values of the business.  By existing customers identifying with the values of the business this builds Liking and a relationship directly with them.

Existing customers also now have a good news story to tell their friends about the type of businesses they use and derive positive association and validation through their choice of cleaner.

3.  Those who have a job and don’t use the dry cleaner will be more inclined to use them because of what they are giving to the community – again the similarity through values and Liking is addressed in point 2.

The Contrast Phenomenon is also in play if their existing cleaner does little to engage with them and maintain the relationship.  The sign could be the trigger to try something new!  Without this trigger there is not impetus to change so people often keep doing what they have always done.  With the trigger there is an opportunity for change.

4.  Internally of the business, the owners, the employees, and even their suppliers, all become more engaged and essentially proud of the place they work.  It allows the employees to live their brand and have a positive good news story to tell about work and also the impact it is having on the lives of others.  It gives them ownership and they play a direct part in that good news story.  As a result they become a happier. more productive and engaged workforce.

5.  Rather than “giving back to the community”, this is a classic example of “giving to the community”.  Giving back implies the community had to go first.  In this circumstance the unemployed and the community didn’t need to do anything to benefit from this gift.  In “giving to the community” this small business stands to reap the numerous benefits mentioned above and because it is a genuine approach rather than a marketing scam, the cash register will ring as a result and people will feel good about it.

6.  Finally this is an example of where things are done with no expectation of return, therefore the return is often greater.  In terms of media and PR this story has gone international and equates to millions in advertising spend.  By way of example I am in Australia talking about a business in New York and I feel more positively toward them – all because they went first and gave something meaningful to those who most needed it.

How can you do something for others in your business?

Not for the desire of return, but just because you identify with it and it is within your means to do so.

Don’t ever be afraid to tell people about the great things you are doing for others.  I can’t value you if you don’t tell me what you have done!

When it is genuine it is never seen as bragging.  When smugglers do it, it all too obvious.

Have a great week.

Source:

http://www.nydailynews.com/2.1353/east-side-dry-cleaner-helping-jobless-free-spruceup-interview-garb-article-1.369155