Social Engineering Blogs

An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields

Why do couples engage in rough-and-tumble play

Amy and Paul had gotten into a relationship about a month ago and were now living together. Amy was busy cooking when Paul hugged her from behind and whispered naughty things in her ear.

 “Go away! Can’t you see I’m busy?”, Amy said with a grin but Paul was too turned on to let go. She then forcibly unclasped his arms and ran away, challenging Paul to ‘come and get her’ by twirling her index finger. When Paul went after her, she ran away again.

Paul chased her from room to room around the house. They jumped around, laughed and threw pillows at each other.

Finally, Paul caught her and pushed her against the wall, grasping her hands tightly so that she couldn’t escape. The couple stopped laughing, almost simultaneously, and kissed.

I’m sure you must have witnessed something like this countless times, whether on screen or in real life. Perhaps you yourself did something like this with your partner.

What’s going on here?

Why is it always the man who chases the woman this way and not the other way around?

Female resistance as a test of male sexual competence

“Rough-and-tumble sex play is a common feature of the courtship behavior of humans and many other animals”, writes animal communication expert Robin Baker in his book Sperm Wars. 

 In species where females are the high-investing sex, courtship dynamics mainly revolve around mate selection by females and the display of quality by males.

Female resistance is a test of male physical strength and sexual competence.  One of the criteria that a woman can add to her list when selecting a mate is his ability to overcome her physical resistance.

She can test this ability in two ways- either by watching males compete with each other or by directly testing a male’s ability to overcome her own defenses. 

On average, men who are physically able to overcome the defences of a female and achieve copulation leave more offspring than those are not. So women whose sons and grandsons have this ability will enjoy greater reproductive success.

couple engaged in rough-and-tumble play


 Conducting the test


To conduct such a test, a woman has to first resist verbally and then physically. The stronger and more realistic the resistance the better the test will be.

Resist too little and the test is meaningless. Resist too much and the male may inadvertently cause serious physical injury.

The fact that this type of courtship aggression rarely results in serious damage in cats, mink or even humans shows the accuracy with which this feature of sexual behavior has been molded by natural selection.

Frequency of the test

In species such as humans that form long-term relationships, you should observe this test frequently during the initial stages of the relationship. Once the female has tested the male she need not do it again and again.

Even then, occasional re-appraisal of the male’s strength and ability doesn’t harm.

For some couples, rough-and-tumble sex play is an infrequent element in their relationship while for others it may even go up to the level of sadomasochism.

Final words

It’s important to note that this test is just one of the many ways in which females evaluate the mate value of a male.

Usually, this test happens within the context of a newly formed relationship where the female has already begun favoring the male as her sexual partner.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that a female will conduct this test on any male that she hasn’t even begun evaluating as a potential partner. 

Fear is Persuasive

Can fear be used to persuade? Can you be convinced and can your behaviour change because you are afraid of the consequences of a specific behaviour? This theory is called the “fear appeal” theory. A fear appeal is a way of exposing the risks of using or not using a specific product, service or idea. It relies on a threat to the well-being of an individual that motivates him or her to take action and modify their behaviour.Road safety campaigns certainly use fear appeals a lot, explicitly seeking to shock and frighten the audience to create a feeling of exposure to risk and threat to the individual’s well being. This is a strong way of getting the viewer’s attention and create a strong and long lasting memory of the promoted message.This particular video is part of a french road safety campaign focused on the necessity of the seatbelt for both front and backseat passengers.In order for fear to be efficient in persuasion, it has to be relatable. In this video, the audience can relate immediately to this common scene of four friends in a car. A woman talks to the audience as a way of capturing the viewer’s full attention, “Something was forgotten in this car”. And right before the crash and the backseat passenger dies, the same voice says “Did you find what is missing? The seatbelt”. The aim here is to show to the viewer the possible consequences of not wearing a seatbelt, not wearing a seatbelt can be fatal. The use of fear and shock in such campaigns is based on the finding that when people feel fearful, they are motivated to reduce fear, threat or danger; most likely by complying with the suggested behaviour; in this case, fastening the seatbelt. (Keller, 1999) The literature also states that the more frightened a person is by a fear appeal, the more likely they will take positive preventing actions. As nothing is more frightening than death for most people, the risk of death should be very efficient in modifying people’s behaviour. (Hovland, et al., 1953)Two cognitive processes underlie the way people respond to a threat: threat appraisal and coping appraisal (Lazarus, 1991) This is why, in order for a fear appeal to be effective in changing people’s behaviour, it should contain both the threat itself and coping efficacy information. (Rogers, 1975; 1983) That way, the level of fear felt by the individual is manageable as he is also given information about adaptive behavioural responses. If the individual feels powerless to change the behaviour, the fear appeal will not be efficient.This may be one of the reasons why the signs, prevention messages and shocking images on cigarette packs remain quite inefficient in changing people’s behaviour. It may state that smoking kills, but since it does not indicate any specific methods to quit smoking, the fear appeal that is intended to modify people’s behaviour is not as efficient as if an adaptive behavioural response was mentioned alongside the threatening message on the pack.  References:Williams, K. C. (2012). Fear Appeal Theory. Research in Business and Economics Journal, p. 63-82Keller, P. A. (1999). Converting the Unconverted: The Effect of Inclination and Opportunity to Discount Health-Related Fear Appeals. Journal of Applied Psychology, 84(3), 403-415. Rogers, R. W. (1975). A Protection Motivation Theory of Fear Appeals and Attitude Change. Journal of Psychology, 91(1), 93-114. Rogers, R. W. (1983). Cognitive and Physiological Processes in Fear Appeals and Attitude Change: A Revised Theory of Protection Motivation. Social Psychophysiology, J. Cacciopo and R. Petty, eds., New York: Guilford Press. Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and Adaptation, New York: Oxford University Press. Hovland, C. I., Janis, I. L. and Kelley, H. H. (1953). Communication and Persuasion: Psychological Studies of Obvious Change. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT66EeDU410&list=LLfH_mlMr4i05kf64gbdzqHQ&index=35

Living with Moebius Syndrome

msad-logo-300x300As we enter the New Year, it is time to prepare for Moebius Syndrome Awareness Day on January 24. While often ignored, a better understanding of this rare condition can lead to a better understanding of facial expressions – and the people who cannot show them.

Moebius syndrome is characterized by a craniofacial/neurological disorder that results in facial paralysis, stifling the ability to exhibit basic emotional expressions like frowning or smiling. While Moebius syndrome is quite rare, affecting approximately 1 in 50,000 to 1 in 500,000, it profoundly affects the lives of those who live with it.

By being unable to show emotion through facial expression, Moebius syndrome poses distinctive challenges for social interaction. Dr. Kathleen Bogart, a psychologist who is afflicted by the condition but also studies it, has elaborated on this challenge.

Dr. Bogart explains how hard it is to reciprocate emotions without the benefit of facial expressions, saying “I wasn’t able to return [expressions]. I tried to do so with words and tone of voice, but it was no use. Stripped of the facial expression, the emotion just dies there, unshared. It just dies.”

Despite these challenges, Moebius syndrome does not prevent people from living happy and successful social lives.

Humintell’s Dr. David Matsumoto and Dr. Bogart have worked together to better understand how people without facial expressions cope. In a 2010 study, they found that Moebius syndrome does not prevent the recognition of emotions in other people’s faces.

This is notable, given the role of “facial mimicry” in developing emotion recognition skills. Most people learn to recognize emotional expressions by mirroring the expressions seen in others. This allows us to feel their emotions ourselves, helping us connect the visual presentation of an emotion with how we feel it ourselves. Because those with Moebius syndrome cannot do this, they must have found another way to recognize emotions.

Dr. Matsumoto explains that people can develop compensation skills, just as they would for other senses: “Just like for blind people, whose senses of touch, smell, hearing become sharper… Same thing here, I think, only it’s in the domain of nonverbal communication.”

This compensation takes several different forms. Matthew Joffe, a therapist with Moebius syndrome emphasized developing an expressive laugh and sense of humor. “I use humor a lot,” he explains, “It’s a way of showing my humanity, for one thing, and over the years people have said I have a great laugh… I have many different laughs for different occasions, each one looks distinct in my body”

Similarly, Dr. Bogart has learned to be an effective reader of people. “At a party, I feel like I can tell whether someone will be worth talking to within seconds… I can read people’s comfort level, or whether they can work through discomfort, very quickly.”

These tactics seem successful too! In another study by Dr. Bogart and Dr. Matsumoto, they found that participants with Moebius syndrome were no more likely to experience anxiety, depression, or general dissatisfaction with life.

For more information of Moebius syndrome, read Humintell’s past blogs here and here.