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The Humintell Blog December 13, 2021

5 Tips to Manage Holiday Stress

Did you know that 88% of Americans feel the holiday season is the most stressful time of the year?

A survey conducted by OnePoll in conjunction with Joy Organics explored the festive stressors and anxiety-inducing moments of the holiday season.

They polled about 2,000 Americans and found that financial concerns actually topped the list of worries when heading into the holiday season — with 56% saying this was one of their concerns.

What other things stress us out during the holidays?

  • 67% of those studied say they try to create the “perfect” holiday — which leads to stress.
  • 47% say they take on more than they can handle during the holiday season.
  • 77% find it hard to relax during the holiday season, which can leave them stressed and worn out.
  • 43% of Americans polled tend to be over scheduled during the holiday season
  • 59% would define the holiday season as “chaotic.”

So what can you do during this stressful time to ease holiday stress?

Psychologist Jelena Kecmanovic recently wrote a piece for the Washington Post where she suggests 5 ways to deal with holiday stress.

1. Temper Expectations

Baby, Child, Girl, PoutingNo matter how many times we have experienced children’s meltdowns, relatives’ faux pas, burned food or canceled flights, we seem to have unwaveringly high expectations for the holidays. Some experts suggests that setting the bar lower would be much better for our mental health.

Finally, moderate your expectations about others’ reactions to your gifts as you are only responsible for thoughtfully choosing gifts — what happens next is out of your control and more a reflection on the gift receiver.


2. Let go of ‘Shoulds’

Lists, To Do, Paper, Checkbox, TasksIt’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the things we should do during the holidays.

We should send emails or cards with season’s wishes. We should deep clean the house, hunt down all the gifts from our wish lists, cook enough different foods to cater to everyone’s taste and restrictions, package enough cookies to distribute at work, and so on. The to-do list invariably becomes your enemy.

Embrace imperfection and simplicity instead, letting everyone know in advance what adjustments you are making to reduce holiday stress.


3. Make Space for all Emotions

four green emoticon ballsKecmanovic explains that one of the most pernicious effects of picture-perfect holidays portrayed in movies, ads and media is an expectation for smiling, joy and happiness, all the time. Although these feelings are common during this season, so are grief, sadness and other negative emotions.

Research shows that, in general, mixed emotions are much more frequent than we realize. And rather than being harmful, they often strengthen a person’s resilience during stressful periods and are related to having a strong sense of purpose or meaning in life.

Moreover, pushing away or suppressing negative emotions ends up making them stronger and more frequent. So allow pain and grief to coexist with the other emotions. Noticing and naming various feelings, talking or writing about them, or expressing them through art can be particularly beneficial.


4. Be Open to New Traditions

Holiday EmotionsResearch suggests that not only does Christmas tend to consist of a relatively static set of universally practiced rituals, at least within a given culture, but many of these rituals are also particularly family-centric.

But if you find yourself a hostage to the holiday traditions that are harder and harder to uphold, it might be time to rethink them.


5. Get Out of Your Head

When, despite everything, holidays get overwhelming and you find yourself stuck in a ruminate-worry-dread vicious cycle, getting outside can provide quick relief. When outside, try to move, even if it means just walking around the block. Three decades of research supports the beneficial effects of movement on our psychological health.

Even a 7 minute yoga practice may make the difference in your day!

The post 5 Tips to Manage Holiday Stress first appeared on Humintell.

Filed Under: culture, Emotion

The Humintell Blog November 15, 2021

8 CREDIBLE Steps To Become A Successful Interviewer

Written by Humintell Affiliate Jay Abiona of Credible Security Solutions

Have you ever conducted an interview and were unsure if the individual was being 100% honest? If so, then this article is for you!

We all know that the largest cost in any business is usually payroll. In order to have loyal, hardworking and HONEST team members, you need to hire appropriately.

As a business owner, we have an obligation to our clients to ensure the highest levels of integrity and that all starts with our team and who we hire.

This article will assist you with hiring the ‘right’ candidate within your business by providing you tips on how to truly conduct a successful interview.

According to Statistic Brain, $50 billion is stolen annually from U.S. Businesses by their employees. That is almost equivalent to $137 million a day that comes right off the bottom line from all companies combined throughout the nation. This is a staggering amount, which can be blamed on our economy, a company’s culture, their screening process and I personally know it can be seen & prevented during the hiring process. Mainly in the first INTERVIEW and I want to show you how.

There have been dishonest people throughout the world for thousands of years and obviously this will continue but the question is not one’s level of integrity but why are we hiring someone who is being dishonest during the interview?

Since, I am sure no one would knowingly hire someone who was being deceptive during an interview; I could only assume it is because the interviewer is not aware of the non-verbal modes of communication that occur during EVERY conversation.

I am going to cover eight (8) CREDIBLE steps that will assist you within the hiring process, making your interviews more effective, which in turn will help you make a better decision when attempting to hire the ‘right’ person for the job.

1.    CONDUCT A THOROUGH REVIEW OF THE RESUME:

According to the Society of Human Resource managers, 53% of people lie on their resume. So, that means more than half of the people you interview will have inaccurate information on their resume/application.

When reviewing a resume, you should be aware of time gaps, numerous employers, education level and experience in the position they are applying for.

If you are reviewing an application, you should pay close attention to the reasons they left their previous employer/s, criminal convictions and missing names/numbers of previous employers. This is the information you will use to base some of your questioning during an actual interview.


2.   REVIEW THE REFERENCES:

Now, some businesses will not give you any information regarding an applicant and may have you contact their corporate office.

However, it doesn’t hurt to try and who knows, you may get some very insightful information that you could use in your interview.

So, please ensure you are taking notes while conducting your reference checks and use these notes as a guide with regards to their previous employers, education and additional skills they CLAIM to have on their resume or application.


3.    ELIMINATE INTERRUPTIONS:

You can do this by placing a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on the door, turning off your mobile phone, asking them to turn their phone off and/or unplugging any landline phones in the interviewing area.

Then remove the barrier that most interviewers have when conducting an interview. You know the barrier I’m referring to.

Come out from behind your desk and place two chairs facing one another in the middle of the room with nothing in between them. Now, you the interviewer should be sitting in a rolling chair, preferably one with a backrest and armrests. The interviewee should be sitting in a stationary chair with a backrest but without wheels and preferably without armrests.

This will help you read their body language during the interview and since their chair will not have wheels, they will not be able to roll their chair & release nervous energy.


4.    DON’T ASK CLOSED ENDED QUESTIONS:

You should be doing 20% of the talking as they should be doing 80% of the talking, which can be accomplished by asking open ended questions.

For instance, “Tell me about a time you were terminated by one of your previous employers.” as opposed to “Have you ever been terminated by one of your previous employers?” The first question is open and will cause the guilty party to think more about the answer, which in turn may cause non-verbal modes of communication or body language markers of discomfort.

This can help you identify the dishonest candidate and actually motivate them to be honest about their previous performance issues as well as why they were terminated. We will talk more about that in step # 5.

The latter of the two questions is closed and could be easily answered with a simple ‘no’, whether they were or were not terminated in the past.


5.    INTENSIVE LISTENING:

An honest person will usually speak with confidence and in a timely manner to the question being asked. Using the example above, an honest person after hearing the question “Tell me about a time you were terminated by one of your previous employers.” will quickly reply; “I’ve never been terminated!” if they in fact have not been.

However, the dishonest candidate may pause and take a moment to think before answering that question because of how it was asked. Since a simple yes or no doesn’t suffice, they will need to think more about the actual time they WERE terminated! That pause in answering can mean a few things such as them thinking about, which job of the many they may have been terminated from or they may be deciding whether or not to be honest with you (Internal Dialogue).

That is when your rolling chair comes into play and is used to move in just a bit closer and with a soft spoken tone of voice say something like: “Hey, we’re both human and we all make mistakes and bad decisions sometimes. What happened?, Why were you terminated?” This rationalization is how you can motivate them to be more honest with regards to answering that question. This technique can be used with other open ended questions as well.


6.   BE AWARE OF THE NON-VERBAL CLUES:

Please keep in mind when reading body language, the markers or ‘tells’ mentioned below must come in clusters and be timely with the questions asked.

Just observing one or two of the body language markers mentioned below does NOT mean the candidate is being deceptive. These behaviors are usually associated with individuals who are nervous in general and that would be a normal reaction during an interview. However, we all know that a person being deceptive will most likely be nervous as well.

So, be mindful of the following body language markers or ‘tells’:

  • Tone of voice
  • Eye contact/movement
  • Red/flush/blotchy skin
  • Body alignment
  • Hesitation with answers
  • Breathing pace
  • Open or closed body language
  • Avoiding questions
  • Position of legs/feet
  • Look for unusual reactions
  • Dramatic changes in body position
  • Negative tone on specific questions
  • Wringing of hands/repeated rubbing or scratching

Once again, please keep in mind when reading body language, the aforementioned markers or ‘tells’ must come in clusters and be timely with the questions asked.

Just observing one or two of the body language markers above does NOT mean the candidate in being deceptive. You are merely evaluating comfort levels to the questions being asked.

To learn more about body language markers, feel free to click on or search #ClipWithATip now.


7.    LOOK FOR FACIAL MICRO-EXPRESSIONS:

Seven Universal Facial Expressions of Emotion (Humintell)Another body language marker to pay close attention to are the facial micro-expressions that happen sometimes in a fifth of a second, which can help you determine what emotion they are truly feeling at the very moment the question was asked.

The Seven Basic Emotions are 1. Anger, 2. Contempt, 3. Disgust, 4. Fear, 5. Happiness, 6. Sadness 7. Surprise.

These emotions have been scientifically proven to have a certain facial expression associated with them, which you can see below in the photos


8.    ENSURE THAT THREE FORMS ARE PROVIDED:

So, you feel this is the person you would like to hire? I would strongly suggest having EVERY potential employee read and sign a background check consent form, credit check consent form as well as a drug test consent form.

Once they are provided with these documents, they have been informed that these extra preventive measures are in place, which may in turn make them reconsider employment if they KNOW you are checking all three areas. If they sign the forms, ensure all three checks are actually completed.


In conclusion, there are numerous tools you can use to ensure you are conducting a successful interview. The eight steps mentioned above are a few of the basics needed in order to become a successful interviewer and assist you within the hiring process.

If you truly want to master the art of interviewing, then you should NOT miss my presentation entitled “Interviews For Success: An insiders approach to reading body language.”, where I discuss open ended questions, facial micro-expressions and how to read body language effectively.

The post 8 CREDIBLE Steps To Become A Successful Interviewer first appeared on Humintell.

Filed Under: Deception, Emotion, Nonverbal Behavior

The Humintell Blog September 30, 2021

Opportunity Favors the Prepared

Guest Blog by Ron Holloway

Ron is the owner of Arrow Coaching, LLC. He pairs his studies and research with the experience with becoming blind and cognitively impaired to an invaluable thought leader in the government and beyond. Connect with him on LinkedIn.

Lessons From Boxing

Mike Tyson once said, “every fighter has a plan until he gets punched in the mouth.”

I want to add that the amateur might forget the plan and get emotional whereas the professional fighter takes it, feels the blow and gets back to the plan. The shock makes the amateur panic and helps the professional focus.

We can say the same about life and emergency management when one encounters their metaphorical punch in the face with either an untrained mind or a trained mind.

What happens after that hit is the result of everything that went into preparing for it.

As, Sun Tzu said, “The battle is won before the fighting.”  Or what I learned as a soldier, we don’t rise to the occasion; we default to our level of training.

As an anti-fragility coach and consultant, I prepare individuals and organizations to be like that professional fighter.

In particular, I develop leaders for that moment when everyone turns to them with fear in their eye’s and say, “What do we do?”

Ron’s 4-Part System

My system draws on philosophy, psychology, physiology, and spirituality.

Like boxing there are principles, such as keeping your hands up and throwing combinations.  There are also techniques to drill into your muscle memory until they become automatic.

How it Applies to You

But you might be saying, I’m not a boxer what do I need this for?  Well, there are benefits in the real world that will come with being a champion.

An example we can draw from is the initial public response to Covid-19.  Some people rushed out and bought a ton of toilet paper for a condition that affects the respiratory system not the gastro-intestinal system.

Others asked themselves the classic stoic question of “how do I turn this to my advantage?” and those people invested in Zoom and saw their investment quadruple over the next few months.

Amazon, Circuit City, and Best Buy

This doesn’t only apply on the individual level. A great example is found in the consumer electronics market.

When Amazon entered that ecosystem, Circuit City went into denial and didn’t adapt.

Best Buy adapted and diversified by finding other areas to improve, the Geek Squad, the sale of high-end home appliances and home theatre systems, and training the sales people to develop subject matter expertise in products and to sell not just to husbands but also their wives. These are what make Best Buy the last man standing.

In the Darwinian sense Best Buy is the fittest and Circuit City is extinct.  Now this lesson is part of Best Buy’s corporate story and culture and as is often written, culture trumps strategy any day.

Post Pandemic

As we emerge out of the global pandemic, we need to do an after action review. We need to ask ourselves as individuals, organizations, and a country if next time disruption occurs will we waste money and precious time on a lifetime supply of Charmin, or are we going to get the contract for those social distancing stickers in front of every register in every store in the country?

Want to enhance your knowledge about emotions, skills in reading emotions in others, and your own emotion regulation competence? Check out our online courses here!

The post Opportunity Favors the Prepared first appeared on Humintell.

Filed Under: Emotion

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