Social Engineering Blogs

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Do They Really Like Their Christmas Present?

Giving and receiving Christmas gifts can be a stressful nightmare but how can you tell if someone really liked their gift?

In a survey of 2,000 Brits, 65% of people confessed to pretending to like a gift to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

The graphic above shows the body language signals to look for to see if someone does or doesn’t like their gift.

Most of us probably know how to read these signs somewhat instinctively- in a study conducted on gift giving, 680 men and women were asked to identify whether or not a recipient liked their gift. 75% of the participants were able to correctly do so. We covered this story in a past blog on Emotions in Gift Giving.

However, in this spirit of giving this holiday season, let’s remember that psychologist have also scientifically proven that one of the greatest contributing factors to overall happiness is how much gratitude you show.

It’s truly the thought that counts and expressing your appreciation for a gift (whether you truly like it or not) can lead to not only your happiness, but the gift giver as well.

 

What Would Happen If Santa Didn’t Exist?

What would happen if Santa didn’t exist ? 

Many people are thinking, well he doesn’t exist. True, but what if even the idea of Santa didn’t exist?  How would that Holiday Season compare to the current one that (technically) lies about his existence ?

Is it even healthy to lie to our children about a mythical man that delivers gifts to “every” child in the world in one evening.  Many children do not receive gifts on Christmas or ever for that matter.  

Is society’s “white lie” about Santa actually damaging our children?

An article by Slate.com purports that the Santa myth can be put in the Good lies opposed to the Bad lies that are mostly used to deflect blame or avoid responsibility – we cannot go to the park because it is closed today.

This type of good lie helps children adopt fantasy play.  This form of play may cultivate a set of skills known as “theory of mind,” which helps kids predict and understand other people’s behavior.

Go ahead tell them Santa brought it.  

Typically children, by age eight, stop believing in or stumble upon irreversible information that concludes, Santa Claus doesn’t exist anyway.

A 1997 study conducted by Marjorie Taylor, a University of Oregon psychologist, found that 4-year-olds who frequently engage in fantasy play are also better able than other kids to distinguish appearances from reality, understand other people’s expectations and know that perceptions depend on context.

Taylor’s recent study on school aged children with good fantasy lives suggests that they tend to have a better understanding of emotions as well.  The study’s findings were that school-age children interact with imaginary companions and impersonate characters as much as preschoolers and overall, 65% of children up to the age of 7 had imaginary companions at some point during their lives.

The study also found that school-age children who did not impersonate scored lower on emotion understanding.

How do I burst the Santa Bubble in a Positive Way ? 

 Jacqueline Woolley, a psychologist at the University of Texas says to give children the tools to figure it out on their own.  Leave the stocking stuffers in a way to obvious hiding place.  Write a reply letter from Santa in your own hand writing.  If your child asks you point blank, “Is Santa Claus Real?’, she suggests, in true psychologist fashion, to answer back with more questions such as, “What do you think? Are you staring to think he doesn’t? Why?

Past Blog: Emotions in Gift Giving


The holidays are right around the corner: can you tell if someone likes their gift just by reading their facial expressions?

In light of this holiday season, the University of Hertfordshire has conducted a study on gift giving. The focus of this study was determining whether or not gift givers could tell whether or not a recipient liked a present just by looking at their facial expressions and nonverbal behavior.

Dr. Karen Pine, a Professor of Developmental Psychology, led the study of 680 men and women in the process of giving and receiving gifts.

Three quarters of the participants were able to correctly identify whether or not a recipient of one of their gifts truly liked it. According to Dr. Pine, “People always try and say the right things, there’s a lot of social pressure to say the right things and to give the impression that we do like a present and our words tend to be quite positive, but the real feelings tend to leak out in our non-verbal behaviour.”

What do you say when you receive a gift you are not too fond of?

Eye contact, or lack thereof, is one easily spotted sign that the recipient did not like their present. They try to avoid eye contact with the giver in case the expression on their face gives away their true feelings. The expression on a displeased recipient’s face is often a ‘social smile,’ which involves only the mouth muscles. When someone is truly happy about something, they smile with both their eyes and their mouth; what is often called a Duchenne smile.

In terms of the gift itself, the recipient tends to rewrap it and put it out of sight fairly quickly if they do not like it. Contrastingly, if someone really likes a gift, they hold it up like a trophy, passing it around and showing it off. They also tend to hold on to the present for a little longer. If it’s a scarf that they really like, for example, the recipient may stroke it for awhile, or even put it on.

However, a negative nonverbal response is not necessarily indicative of someone being unappreciative of a gift. Perhaps what they have received isn’t quite what they were hoping for, but they could still be appreciative of the gesture. Isn’t that what is important?

Dr. Pine told BBC News that she believes we need “to go back to the old values about what a gift is really for; it is a token of appreciation or affection for a person.” However, by conducting this study, she is putting emphasis on reactions towards the gifted items themselves, rather than the meaning behind them.

What are your thoughts? Are you able to tell when a gift you have given is not well received? You may read more about the study here.