Social Engineering Blogs

An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields

Emotion Regulation

stockvault-portrait-of-a-womanamp039s-face-in-rope130959

Courtesy of StockVault

Most of us have been told that keeping your “cool” is a great quality.  However, The Association for Psychological  Science has just issued a press release saying that new research suggests that keeping your emotions in check may not be as beneficial as once thought.

They noted that being able to regulate your emotions in general is good for well-being. However, the new research shows that emotion regulation in the form of  “cognition reappraisal” may be harmful when it comes to stressors.  

Cognitive reappraisal is a strategy where the individual reframes their thoughts about a given situation in order to change its emotional impact.  This emotion regulation strategy was previously seen as beneficial for people who are highly stressed. But this new research purports that it might only be beneficial in certain circumstances and could have a negative impact in others.

Lead researcher Allison Troy says, “Context is important.  Our research is among the first to suggest that cognitive reappraisal may actually have negative effects on psychological health in certain contexts.”

Troy gives an example of the positive use and the negative use of this emotion regulation strategy.  Cognitive reappraisal is helpful for someone dealing with stress from a loved one being sick; a situation they have little control over. But for someone who is stressed out about their poor performance at work, where they have quite a bit of control,  using reappraisal could have a negative impact as it might make the individual less inclined to attempt to change the situation.

The study’s findings contradict existing research, which has shown that reappraisal is linked with positive outcomes. “These results suggest that no emotion regulation strategy is always adaptive,” says Troy. “Adaptive emotion regulation likely involves the ability to use a wide variety of strategies in different contexts, rather than relying on just one strategy in all contexts.”

To read about these findings and find out more detailed information regarding how the study was carried out read the entire Press Release.

Baby Emotions

Have you seen the viral video below?

It’s already gotten over 21 million views and is rapidly spreading through the internet. The baby is 10 month-old Mary Lynne Leroux, who cries as her mother Amanda sings ‘My Heart Can’t Tell You No’, a song most recently popularized by Sara Evans.

Click here to view the embedded video.

A recent Psychology Today article by Dr. Siu-Lan Tan suggests that the video may be illustrating emotional contagion and emotional synchrony. She defines emotional contagion as “the tendency for humans to absorb and reflect the intense emotions of those around them” and defines emotional synchrony as “the moment-to-moment mimicry and matching of emotional expressions in time”.

Visit this link for Tan’s full article and explanation complete with video clips 

Hey, it’s The ASSMAN!

I love Seinfeld. It’s like Bugs Bunny, it doesn’t matter how many times I watch the show, it is always funny. One of my favorite episodes is “The Fusilli Jerry.” In that episode a subplot takes place when Kramer accidentally gets the personalized license plates for a local proctologist. As he drives around New York everyone recognizes the ASSMAN.

So what does the ASSMAN have to do with you and me? Have you ever noticed how some people act as if they’re invisible when they’re in their car? They do things, mouth words and sometimes use gestures they probably never would if they were standing next to you or looking you in the eye. The assumed privacy of a car removes some people’s inhibitions. In psychology this is called deindividuation. 
Perhaps you’ve been the one who feels less inhibited, and have done something you wouldn’t have if you’d been looking someone in the eye and they clearly could identify you.
I’ve been there before. In fact, one time on the way to work I knew someone wanted to get into my lane on the highway and I didn’t let him over. Eventually he merged in behind me. Then, as I got off the exit for work so did he. When I pulled into my company parking lot so did he. It turns out he was a coworker, someone I’d known for years. All it took was a glance and he knew it was me who didn’t let him over. I had been acting like the ASSMAN!
I was embarrassed and quickly sent an email apologizing. I told him I wished I could explain it away as a bad day, being in a rush or something else, but I confessed that sometimes I’m just a jerk. My coworker sent back the nicest email and thanked me for apologizing!
Dale Carnegie says when you’re wrong admit it quickly and emphatically. When you admit weakness that’s actually a way to enhance your authority with another person because you build some credibility for fessing up. Odd as it may seem, I think my relationship with that coworker is better now than it was before that highway incident.
Today I’m the ASSMAN but for a different reason. I have personalized plates that read INFLUNC. No, I’m not a poor speller; I’m limited to seven letters on the license plate.
What I’m very conscious of now is how easily it is to be recognized. It’s not that people are saying, “Hey Influence Guy,” but it’s an easy plate to spot and remember. As a result I think I’m a much better, more courteous driver because I’d never want to meet someone then have him or her think, “You’re the jerk I saw on the highway.”
The more we’re conscious of the fact that seldom do we operate in complete anonymity the more likely we are to do the right thing. When we believe no one can tell it’s us, when we believe we can get away with something, many people take advantage. Several of the studies Dan Ariely cites in his book, The Honest Truth About Dishonesty, confirm this.
So here’s a takeaway for those of you looking for positive change in some behavior. Make the choice to do something to create your own accountability. Something as simple as a sticker on your car, public commitment to friends and coworkers, or photos of your family in prominent places around the office can be the necessary first step to doing the right thing and avoid being known as the ASSMAN in some circles.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.