Role Reboot: Culture & Politics reports on how society is teaching our kids that women lie.
So how exactly are we teaching children that women lie and can’t be trusted to be as competent or truthful as men?
The article comments that lessons about women’s untrustworthiness are in our words, pictures, art, and memory. They purport that women are overwhelmingly portrayed as flawed, supplemental, ornamental, or unattainably perfect and that it is easy to find examples of girls and women routinely, entertainingly cast as liars and schemers.
For example, on TV we have Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, Don’t Trust The Bitch in Apartment 23, Devious Maids, and, because its serpent imagery is so basic to feminized evil, American Horror Story: Coven.
They point out that the lessons start early at an early age noting the popular animated kids movie Shark Tale, which featured the song “Gold Digger,” a catchy tune that describes women as scheming, thieving, greedy, and materialistic. There is no shortage of music lyrics that convey the same ideas across genres. It’s in movies, too.
A few examples:
“Amongst all the savage beasts none is found so harmful as woman.” — John Chrysostom
“What she cannot get, she seeks to obtain through lying and diabolical deceptions. One must be on one’s guard with every woman, as if she were a poisonous snake and the horned devil.” — St. Albertus Magnus
“Women were made either to be wives or prostitutes.” — Martin Luther
“I fail to see what use woman can be to man, if one excludes the function of bearing children.” — Augustine
It is important to note that men are often times not portrayed in the best light by female singers and can be paralleled to heart breakers, etc.
These thoughts are alive and well and have a super long tail outside of religion & music: domestic work, pay discrimination, and sex segregation in the workplace. Every time a young girl can’t serve at an altar, or play in a game, or dress as she pleases; every time she’s assaulted and told to prove it, it’s because she cannot, in the end, be trusted. Controlling her—her clothes, her will, her physical freedom, her reputation—is her responsibility and not most often an unalienable right.
Children learn so quickly and normatively to follow society’s’ norms; do we really want the distrust women to be one of those? We need to teach our younger generations to always challenge ideologies that go against our better judgment. It means critically assessing the comforting institutions we support out of nostalgia, habit, and tradition. It could also mean not buying certain movie tickets, closing some books, refusing to pay for some music, and politely disagreeing with friends and family at the dinner table.
What do you think of the portrayal of women, are they depicted as untrustworthy?
The college football season is now behind us and the last national champion of the BCS (Bowl Championship Series) era has been crowned. Congratulations to the Florida State Seminoles. While the BCS format was better than relying on multiple human polls (AP, UPI, coaches, etc.) each crowning it’s own national champion, the BCS was not without controversy. Continual controversy about which teams were the top two at year-end is a big reason fans are eagerly awaiting next season because the national champion will be determined in a four-team playoff system.While a playoff might be better than the current format, you can imagine the 5th, 6th and perhaps 7th teams will all believe they have a strong case for being one of the top four. Perhaps the controversy will only expand and maybe the additional intrigue will make the season even more exciting.What’s interesting about fans is their fanaticism. If you watch a game with diehard fans from opposing teams, a game where you have no stake in the outcome, you’ll see and hear interesting things.Each fan will believe the referees are against their team and favoring the opposing team. They’ll be quick to point out every infraction the referees missed that would have benefitted their team and they’ll argue most of the calls made against their team. Each fan will also think the television commentators are pulling for the other team and you might even hear them say ESPN or other media outlets are against their team. It’s almost an “us against the world” mentality. Fans are also an interesting bunch when it comes to admitting defeat or when another team might just be better. This came to light more than a month ago when my favorite college team (not my alma mater) – The Ohio State Buckeyes – lost their conference championship game. After 24 straight wins, that one loss dashed their hopes of playing for the national championship. A relative who is a big Michigan Wolverines (OSU’s big rival) fan took particular joy in telling me how Ohio State just can’t run with “the big dogs.” It didn’t matter to him that Ohio State had beaten his team 10 of 12 years, won the Big 10 championship six years in a row during one recent stretch, had won 24 straight games, made more BSC bowl game appearances than any other team, won as many BSC bowl games as any other team, played in three national championships and won the big game once. Pretty compelling resume for someone to conclude Ohio State has been much better than Michigan for the past 10-12 years. If it sounds like I’m bragging, I am a bit, but truthfully it was to point out how irrational fans can be. Under no circumstance would my relative ever admit the Buckeyes are better than the Wolverines, even over the past dozen years despite the clear evidence. Why do we irrationally hold on to certain beliefs in spite of the evidence against us, and continue to justify our beliefs? I believe it has to do with the principle of consistency. This principle of influence alerts us to the reality that people feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to remain consistent with what they’ve said, done or believed in the past.In his book Influence Science and Practice, Robert Cialdini shares a story about people going to a transcendental meditation workshop that promoted flying and walking through walls among other things. Despite the clear evidence against these practices people desperate for change went to the introductory session then justified their investment of time and money.It’s psychologically hard on us to admit that perhaps we were wrong about something and to stop justifying it. We see this phenomenon in more than sports. Take politics for example. We were led to believe if Obama was re-elected over Romney that our economy would suffer immensely. A gauge that’s often used to see how the economy is doing is the Dow Jones Industrial average. The Dow was around 13,000 before the election and despite a 300-point drop in the days immediately after the election it now hovers at record levels between 16,400 and 16,500. Democrats will say it is evidence their policies work while Republicans will give reasons for the rise other than government policy. Had the scenario been reversed and it was Romney that was elected, Republicans would gloat and Democrats would say the Dow increase is due to unethical business practices that really hurt most Americans. One thing is for sure; neither side would ever concede and say, “Perhaps we were wrong and they were right.” They will come up with reasons to justify their position.When my team lost that conference championship, as hard as it was, I acknowledged Michigan State deserved to win. Then Michigan State showed more metal beating a very good Stanford team in The Rose Bowl. Meanwhile my team was again outplayed in The Orange Bowl and lost, despite having opportunities to win. Ohio State was very good but not one of the elite teams this year and I’m okay admitting that.So what does all this mean for you in terms of influence? The next time you get into a debate about which people have a very personal stake – sports, politics, religion, certain social issues, etc. – recognize first of all, no matter what you say or do some people will refuse to change their point of view. But at least you know that now and perhaps it will lessen your frustration. If you want to dislodge people from irrational consistency here are five tips that might help: Don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you.Don’t argue your point because that will cause defensiveness.Ask questions that might get the other person to acknowledge small points where you might be correct.When the other person has a valid point acknowledge it.Exhibit patience because it might take several communications to gain ground. 
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.