An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields
Image from David Finch [email protected]
The above image is a fantastic example of disgust: one of the seven universal facial expressions that are expressed universally the same way across all people of all cultures.
Disgust is characterized by the lowering of the brows, nose wrinkling, and upper lip raise.
For interesting past blogs about disgust, take a look at the links below:
The Evolution of Disgust
Disgust and Disease
Subtle Disgust (Video)
I’ve traveled a lot this year and have a lot more trips coming up. If my travel schedule plays out I’ll have been on the road half of the weeks this year and spent at least 50 nights in hotels. Think about that– 10 weeks away from my family! Some days have entailed hitting the road by 4 a.m. to catch early morning flights and arriving home close to midnight. If you travel you know if can be tiring!Last month, as I waited to catch an evening flight home I got a text from my daughter, Abigail, asking if I wanted to get some ice cream at Graeter’s when I landed because she wanted to tell me about her first days of college. Despite being tired I agreed because I don’t view such times as a sacrifice; rather it was an investment in her and our relationship.As we waited in line I tried to decide what flavor I was in the mood for and whether I’d go with a single scoop or a double. If you’ve been to Graeter’s you know the ice cream is great but you pay a premium for it! 
As I looked at the menu I saw a single scoop cone was $2.95 and a double was $4.25. I thought, “I just bought a half gallon of really good Homemade ice cream for just over $5,” so I was reluctant to get two scoops at that price. The other thought that raced through my head was, “That’s almost twice as much.” When you do the math, you know it’s not twice as much, but my mind quickly registered the $2.95 and $4.25 as $2 vs. $4 because those are the numbers each price started with.Something else that came into play as I decided what to do was the fact that I was still a little full from dinner a few hours ago. I decided to skip the cone to save a few calories so I asked for a single scoop in a cup. The server said, “Would you like a second scoop for just 50 cents more?” I recall thinking, “For 50 cents why not, that’s a good deal?” because in my mind the option of going from one to two scoops was twice as much ice cream but not at double the price.As it turns out, the single scoop in a cup was $3.75 and two scoops were $4.25…the same prince as the two scoops in a cone that I’d just decided to pass on! It was only a 50-cent difference but in the end I got two scoops…no cone…and paid the same amount I’d mentally rejected moments before!I read lots of books on the subject of persuasion, pricing, etc., and yet I ended up in the very place I was initially trying to avoid. Before you chuckle, I can assure you I could probably spot similar inconsistencies in some of your decision-making.So what happened to me? My focus shifted from “two scoops for nearly double the price” to “a second scoop for just 50 cents more” when in the end, the price was $4.25 in each case!When we make decisions we rarely do so in a vacuum. To assess a “deal,” we’re always making comparisons to other things. My first thought was two scoops for about the same price as a box of ice cream is not a good deal. However, knowing the first scoop was pretty expensive, getting a second scoop for just 50 cents more seemed like a great deal. My mistake was that I didn’t pay close attention to the price of a single scoop in a cone vs. the price of one scoop in a cup. I mistakenly assumed getting ice cream in a cup would be less expensive, certainly not more, because I couldn’t eat the cup.So here’s the “scoop” next time you’re faced with a similar decision.Try to remove your emotions from the decision. Many behavioral economics studies show people are emotional creatures that occasionally make rational decisions (i.e., We have five TVs but I want a 66-inch flat screen!).Recognize you’re always making comparisons to other things. Make sure you’re comparing to the right thing and don’t just look for something that will confirm what you emotionally want (i.e., I know we don’t need another television but it’s 50% off!).Take a moment to consider the value of the thing you’re considering regardless of what you’re comparing to. Value is subjective but oftentimes we ascribe too much value to things we believe will make us happier or more fulfilled (i.e., What will the 66-inch screen, even if on sale, really add to your life?).Follow these simple steps and you’ll probably make better decisions; the kinds you look back on with pride, not regret.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
In an interesting piece on Forbes entitled “Speak the Truth, Even if Your Voice Shakes“, Amy Rees Anderson gives some valuable tips about being honest on the job, especially if you are in a leadership role.
Through her experience as a CEO she says “I found that one of the toughest things to teach people that serve in a management role is how to give honest feedback to others. I found that they were often afraid to hurt feelings, or they were afraid of not being liked. Rather than giving direct, honest feedback they would sugarcoat things and dance around an issue.”
Anderson gives some helpful tips on how to give honest, constructive feedback. Some of her suggestions are below:
1. As a leader you have an obligation to set the example of giving honest and direct feedback to employees. If you don’t do it, no one else well either, so it must start with you.
2. Never feel guilty telling someone else the truth about what isn’t working or what has to change. They deserve to know it. They cannot change and improve unless they know the truth about what they are doing wrong. You owe it to them to be honest and open.
3. Always give feedback from a position of truly wanting to help the other person with the information. Never give feedback at a time you are angry or frustrated or you will end up tearing the other person down and no good will come from it. If you enter into the conversation with the genuine desire to help the other person to improve and grow, your heart will be in the right place and your words will come out in a way that builds, not destroys.
4. It is OK to start the conversation by telling the other person that what you need to discuss with them is a little uncomfortable for you, but you also know that it’s in their best interest for you to give them honest feedback, so you are going to do your best to do so. This lets the other person know that your intentions are good, and it helps stop them from becoming immediately defensive and allows them to be more open to what you have to tell them.
5. Be very clear in explaining exactly what they need to do differently. Don’t just talk in broad, general terms. Give them specific examples of what they have done wrong and then give them an example of how they could have handled things differently. Keep in mind that most people are not trying to mess up or be difficult. They are usually either unaware of their own bad behavior, or they are frustrated because they can’t figure out how to do it differently. Typically, they will appreciate having some practical examples that teach them new ways to approach things.
6. Always be honest with respect. If you talk to the other person in a way that demonstrates your respect for them, they will appreciate your words far more, and you will have a far better chance of making an impact with them.
7. Make sure that anytime you are going to share something negative that you also take time to express the positive. Let them know what they do right as well as what they are doing wrong. You want people to walk away knowing that not everything they do is bad, and you want them to recognize the good things they should continue to do.