Social Engineering Blogs

An Aggregator for Blogs About Social Engineering and Related Fields

Cheeky Request – What Would You Have Done?

This week I received an email from a MM reader, Darren about a cheeky request he received and I want to see how you feel about it and what you would have done if it happened to you.

Darren stated he received an email from a telecommunications consultant that been helping him switch to his product/service. In the email the service provider advised he had activated Darren’s global roaming and it was now available for use.

However he closed the email with the following request:

Can I be really cheeky?……. and ask you if you’ve got any companies that you might be able to refer me to?

Darren stated the provider has been good with the service he provides and he does go “above & beyond”.

I asked Darren how the request made him feel and he said his immediate response was it was a cheeky request indeed.

Darren felt that the request had put him on the spot, cheeky or not, and he felt pressure to provide a referral – which he didn’t want to do.

We understand the pressure Darren was experiencing was coming from the pull of Reciprocity.   The service provider had done a good good job and gone “above and beyond” for Darren and now he was looking to collect by asking for a favour in return.

The question is was this an equitable exchange?  Darren was paying the telecommunications advisor for his service after all and going above and beyond is perhaps his unique differentiator in the marketplace.

The telling part of the story for me was Darren said he waited almost two days to respond due to the discomfort.  During the two days he mulled over what to say before eventually replying with a non-committal statement saying,

 Trying to think of any organisations where they have a need for 5+ mobiles etc – will think to mention you to them as I interact with them to see if they are receptive to an approach.

Darren told me that he probably won’t follow through with this commitment because of the way the request was made and how it made him feel.

 

Here is your chance to interact.  Tell me how you would have reacted.  Was the request okay or not?  As Sleuth of Influence what advice would provide the service provider to persuade Darren to provide a referral without making him feel uncomfortable or obligated.

I am really looking forward to your views on this one – I have plenty I will share as we get going.

 

Cheeky request

 

 

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Receptive or Not Receptive – that is the question

Receptive

Receptivity is defined as “Ready or willing to receive favourably”.  Understanding how receptive someone is to your request is a core function of persuasion.

By way of example, many years ago I knew a teenager whose natural response to anyone else’s ideas or requests was pessimistic.  He would highlight the risks, say how hard it would be to implement what was being proposed and he would generally take a non-supportive view. Looking back now it was amazing how much energy was put into this continual resistance.  It must have been exhausting being so unreceptive.

Fast forward 25 years and today I know another guy.  His natural response to everything is “yes” or at least let’s explore it further.   He is open to new ideas and explores every situation for opportunities to collaborate and succeed.

Would it surprise you however to know that the guy I am talking about in both instances is the same person?  Would it also surprise you to know this guy is me?

As a teenager I was a “doer” but I was also a “know-it-all”.  I liked to get things done but I was the one who had to do it.  I had to be right.  I was the one who had to come up with the idea and execute it.  No-one would ever do it the way I thought it should be done so I would do it myself. I was unreceptive to ideas of others.

Today I am not like my younger self.  I am more receptive to ideas.  Others and my own.  I am more willing to explore things and look for a successful outcome.  I know that taking time and exploring the situation in its entirety will create a better solution and it is certainly better than rushing in blindly.  While it has taken me awhile I have learned to be receptive to others and their ideas.  I am not perfect at it by any means but yes is more of the norm now than no.

Upon reflecting on my journey through receptivity I remembered a phrase we used in the police called “escalating commitment to a failing course of action”.  This phrase refers to someone (usually a decision maker) who due to having made a previous commitment to do something would often see them remain committed to that decision.  They would resist the ideas of others, often in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary and usually until it was too late to change the inevitable outcome. History is littered with examples of leaders, and teenagers, who suffered from an escalating commitment to a failing course of action!

On many occasions I have seen good people make poor decisions because they were unreceptive to the ideas of others.

Therefore in any persuasion task you need to:

identify who the Persuadee actually is
set about analysing what is Essential to them
find out their Attitude to what you are proposing
understand how much they do or do not Know about your product, service or idea

This is what I call the PEAK process and it involves stakeholder identification, analysis and planning to ensure you achieve your desired goal, i.e. reach the PEAK!

1. Therefore monitor the reactions of those you are engaging with.  Identify those who have power and interest and engage them. Use their receptivity to your advantage.

2. Similarly identify those who have power but little interest.  Keep them informed but don’t annoy them with too much information.  Sometimes we confuse lack of receptiveness for actual lack of need to know and some leaders while in charge just don’t need to know or need to be involved in what you are proposing.  If they are the person you need to persuade, then this is where your persuasion skills come into play to have them change their beliefs and behaviour and in the process have them become more receptive to your request.

3. Identify those with high interest but no power and use their receptiveness to rally them around you.  Have them convey their support to others and use their passion and drive to get things done.

4. Finally monitor those with no power or interest.  They only need to be monitored because they are outside the Circle of Persuasion, i.e. the inner circle of persuadees that will either impact positively or negatively on your request.  Your only task with these people is to make sure you aware if they move from the outer to the inner circle of persuasion.

IMPLICATION

This week, think about how receptive people are to your requests.  Persuade the persuadable and then set about engaging those Persuadees who need to be involved.

Think about how receptive you are to others and remember saying “yes” or at least being open to the idea maybe all it takes to build a relationship and trigger Reciprocity.

None of us like “All Staff” emails when they don’t relate to us.  Don’t alienate leaders or decision makers by continually updating them when they don’t need to be.  That way when you do include them they are far more likely to be receptive to your ideas!

 

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An Enlightening Conversation

During the week I had an enlightening conversation with my kids.  We were driving to one of the many extracurricular activities they are involved in and I mentioned that I needed to go the servo to get some fuel for my car.

Enlightening Conversation My enquiring daughter said “Dad, why is it called a servo?”

I said “Well… servo is short for service station”

She said “Why is it called a service station, all they do is sell petrol?”

I said, “Yeah.  But it wasn’t always like that.  Years ago you used to go to the service station and you could get driveway service, where an attendant would come out, put the petrol in your car, check your tyres, wash your windscreen and provide any advice you might need on additives for your car, suggestions around general maintenance and things like that.  That is why it was called a service station.  They provide a service for your car”.

My daughter then said, “That sounds great.  Why don’t they do that anymore?”

I said “I don’t know sweetie.  I expect it is an extra expense to the owner and with the price of petrol they can’t afford the extra wages”.

A light bulb went off and it got me thinking.  How many things did we used to do, the things that set us apart in our business or industry but we don’t do anymore because we are too busy.  Or maybe we let things slip because everyone else did so it became the new norm and it is no longer expected.

The second enlightening conversation for the week came the next day when I was talking to a guy who is in a service based industry and he said, “Some customers just don’t get it.  They want to stand around and talk but I just don’t have the time”.

I asked what did they want to talk about?  He informed me that they would ask about the new technologies in his field.  The impact this would have on them.  What they needed to do and so on.

Another light bulb went off.

All of these questions were legitimate.  Fair and reasonable questions I thought.  But for the gent I was speaking to his KPIs dictated he needed to do so many tasks in an hour or a day and talking to customers, engaging with them and ensuring future and return business was not one of his KPIs.  So he doesn’t do it and probably much worse he resents his customers for expecting this of him.

The third enlightening conversation came last night when we had some friends over for dinner.  During dinner I mentioned the “servo” conversation.  This sparked all sorts of fond memories and stories of the people we had met over the years.

What was interesting was the ladies at the table exclaimed that they would drive out of their way, right out of their way, to go to a service station that filled up their car, washed their windscreens, etc.

The gents at the table were far less interested in the service but we more interested in the fact their wive’s car would have fuel in it and they wouldn’t have to put it there.

So the impact of the light bulbs?

CONTRAST affords us the opportunity to bring back some aspects of service that have been dropped that will again set us apart.  RECIPROCITY will allow us to invest in others that will enhance our relationships.  It will build a loyal community who will go out of their way for the extra things only we provide – right out of their way.

Hmmm.  Providing a service that is implied in what we do.

A servo that delivers what it is says – service.

I wonder if that will ever take off?  According to my female dinners guests it would be raving success!

P.S. I know servo’s still provide products we can buy and services we can use but compared to the service of yesteryear I don’t they they live up to their brand promise.

Would you drive to a servo that had an attendant?  

What service can you bring back to invest in your community – not because you “have to” but because it will take you and/or business to the next level.

 

 

Photo Credit: freedigitalimages.net/hin225

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