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How To Read People (3/4)

Okay so last time we talked about figuring out how other people take in information, based on whether they were a sensor or a intuitive person. Now the next part in learning how to read people deals with how they communicate with other people. This is where you determine whether they’re a thinker or feeler. This aspect of reading people is extremely important especially when it comes to influencing someones decision making. People are going to either make their decisions in a logical, analytical way, or an emotional value driven manner. Your job is to figure out which method they’ll use in order to be as effective as possible when influencing them.

One useful thing to remember when labeling someone a thinker or feeler is that men tend to be thinkers (65%) and women have a tendency to be feelers (65% as well). When you’re talking to people, notice how they react to the things that you say, and how they speak. Do they seem kind of insensitive and distant, or warm and friendly? If they seem to relate to others well and effectively empathize with people, then chances are they’re feelers. On the other hand, If they seem rather impersonal and most of what they say is based on logic rather than ethics and values, they’re probably more of a thinker.

When speaking with the thinking type, often times they’ll come across as a no BS right to the point type of person. They’re typically not too fond of small talk either, which is one thing feelers usually like to engage in . When feelers are speaking, they’ll usually talk about things in terms of how they feel about them. They tend to be better at and enjoy discussing personal matters on a deeper level. They’re good at putting themselves in the other persons situation and understanding what they’re going through. However, sometimes the feeler ends up taking certain things like business decisions personal, when they really aren’t a personal issue. This is the thinkers strong point. They usually have the ability to detach themselves from things like that, and for that very reason are often the people that make those type of business decisions that feelers can’t seem to bring themselves to make.

Another aspect of communication to look at when reading people is frequently they touch the person they’re talking to. Often times, feelers will touch the other persons hand, shoulder, arm, back and knee (if sitting down) to emphasize their concern or emotion they’re feeling at the moment. Sometimes thinkers do this too if they’re a strong extravert, but typically they engage in this type of behavior far less than feelers do.

Although these are all things that are very useful when learning how to read people and determine their personality type, you should never completely determine their type preference based on one clue. The more clues you gather and tells you pick up from the other person, the more accurate your conclusion will be. There is one more type preference you will have to determine in order to perform an accurate read on someone, and that’s what we’ll discuss next time. In the mean time practice what you’ve learned. The more people you analyze, the better you’ll get.

Monkey Face – Don’t Mate with Me!

Monkey Faces

Courtesy William L. Allen

Science Magazine reports on a research that highlights the importance of the face and its signal value in evolutionary history.

The Guenon monkey species tend to live in close proximity to each other, but it is important that they don’t interbreed as such offspring has been found to be infertile.   From an evolutionary standpoint, this species would have died off (or at least drastically decreased the size of their population) if they were not able to somehow know this and not interbreed.

So how has nature dealt with this?

Researchers reported, in Nature Communication, that the Guenon species that live in close contact have evolved certain facial expressions to prevent interbreeding.

The researchers used facial recognition algorithms to analyze photos that were compiled over a year and a half time frame.  They found key features that illustrated the the differences between neighboring species, which is counter to a past belief that it was environmental factors (i.e.lighting etc) that caused the Guenon facial diversity.

Receptive or Not Receptive – that is the question

Receptive

Receptivity is defined as “Ready or willing to receive favourably”.  Understanding how receptive someone is to your request is a core function of persuasion.

By way of example, many years ago I knew a teenager whose natural response to anyone else’s ideas or requests was pessimistic.  He would highlight the risks, say how hard it would be to implement what was being proposed and he would generally take a non-supportive view. Looking back now it was amazing how much energy was put into this continual resistance.  It must have been exhausting being so unreceptive.

Fast forward 25 years and today I know another guy.  His natural response to everything is “yes” or at least let’s explore it further.   He is open to new ideas and explores every situation for opportunities to collaborate and succeed.

Would it surprise you however to know that the guy I am talking about in both instances is the same person?  Would it also surprise you to know this guy is me?

As a teenager I was a “doer” but I was also a “know-it-all”.  I liked to get things done but I was the one who had to do it.  I had to be right.  I was the one who had to come up with the idea and execute it.  No-one would ever do it the way I thought it should be done so I would do it myself. I was unreceptive to ideas of others.

Today I am not like my younger self.  I am more receptive to ideas.  Others and my own.  I am more willing to explore things and look for a successful outcome.  I know that taking time and exploring the situation in its entirety will create a better solution and it is certainly better than rushing in blindly.  While it has taken me awhile I have learned to be receptive to others and their ideas.  I am not perfect at it by any means but yes is more of the norm now than no.

Upon reflecting on my journey through receptivity I remembered a phrase we used in the police called “escalating commitment to a failing course of action”.  This phrase refers to someone (usually a decision maker) who due to having made a previous commitment to do something would often see them remain committed to that decision.  They would resist the ideas of others, often in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary and usually until it was too late to change the inevitable outcome. History is littered with examples of leaders, and teenagers, who suffered from an escalating commitment to a failing course of action!

On many occasions I have seen good people make poor decisions because they were unreceptive to the ideas of others.

Therefore in any persuasion task you need to:

identify who the Persuadee actually is
set about analysing what is Essential to them
find out their Attitude to what you are proposing
understand how much they do or do not Know about your product, service or idea

This is what I call the PEAK process and it involves stakeholder identification, analysis and planning to ensure you achieve your desired goal, i.e. reach the PEAK!

1. Therefore monitor the reactions of those you are engaging with.  Identify those who have power and interest and engage them. Use their receptivity to your advantage.

2. Similarly identify those who have power but little interest.  Keep them informed but don’t annoy them with too much information.  Sometimes we confuse lack of receptiveness for actual lack of need to know and some leaders while in charge just don’t need to know or need to be involved in what you are proposing.  If they are the person you need to persuade, then this is where your persuasion skills come into play to have them change their beliefs and behaviour and in the process have them become more receptive to your request.

3. Identify those with high interest but no power and use their receptiveness to rally them around you.  Have them convey their support to others and use their passion and drive to get things done.

4. Finally monitor those with no power or interest.  They only need to be monitored because they are outside the Circle of Persuasion, i.e. the inner circle of persuadees that will either impact positively or negatively on your request.  Your only task with these people is to make sure you aware if they move from the outer to the inner circle of persuasion.

IMPLICATION

This week, think about how receptive people are to your requests.  Persuade the persuadable and then set about engaging those Persuadees who need to be involved.

Think about how receptive you are to others and remember saying “yes” or at least being open to the idea maybe all it takes to build a relationship and trigger Reciprocity.

None of us like “All Staff” emails when they don’t relate to us.  Don’t alienate leaders or decision makers by continually updating them when they don’t need to be.  That way when you do include them they are far more likely to be receptive to your ideas!

 

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