Social Engineering Blogs

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Beating Bullying with Body Language

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Courtesy of StockVault

School has already started for many students and with so many pre-teen and teenage kids already in or starting school, anti bullying campaigns have begun.

No one likes to be bullied and in our socially aware and interactive society, bullying is becoming taboo.  Anti-bullying campaigns across the nation are hard at work trying to keep peace and security in our schools.

After all students should feel safe in an environment where they have to go every week day whether they like it or not.  If we can create a positive environment /experience then perhaps shy and awkward kids would excel more in social interactions or studies and we would have less drop out rates…at least that’s the plan, right?

Katu.com along with Vanessa Van Edwards has some helpful tips to boost your kids confidence and ward off potential bullies.

1. Be confident or at least fake it til you make it:  Avoid having eyes downcast and shoulders hunched forward. Doing so releases a stress hormone and makes one look vulnerable. Even small adjustments in body language can decrease stress and make one look and feel more confident.

2.  Kids should not try to hide behind their desks.  Try keeping your hands on top of the desk and your feet on the ground.

3.  Kids should avoid sitting at the back of the bus as the long walk back can give some kids anxiety.

4. Eye contact is always a plus. Even in business settings eye contact exudes confidence.

Most importantly, Remember that kids tend to imitate their parents:  “If you’re talking to your kids about going back to school and you’re shoulders and neck are tense, your kids will pick up on that and mimic your body language,” Edwards said.

Display confidence in your body language in front of your children especially if they are lacking it.

Italian Gestures and Nonverbal Communication

Thumbs up - Gestures, Emblems & Cultural Variances - Humintell As mentioned in a past blog post entitled “The Complicated World of Gestures”, there are 2 types of gestures: speech illustrators and emblems.

Emblems are gestures that convey specific verbal meaning that can exist without the use of words. Other gestures (that are not emblems) co-occur with words.

Gestures have been a part of Italian culture for some time and many Italians claim that talking with their hands is “in their blood”. Take a look at the interesting video below featured in a recent NY Times article entitled “When Italians Chat, Hands and Fingers Do the Talking”.

Keys to Persuading Expressive Personalities

You are one lucky person because you just got another big break! This week you’re meeting Oprah Winfrey! You’ve been given 15 minutes to talk with one of the few people who can make or break your career just my mentioning your name. How will you influence Oprah to give you that positive mention or perhaps airtime on one of her shows?
This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an expressive or influencer personality. When I think of an expressive, Oprah Winfrey immediately comes to mind because she’s someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. Like the Trump, Oprah also likes to control situations and others. The follow describes this personality type:
Expressives like being part of social groups; enjoy attending events with lots of people; are more in tune with relating to people than working on tasks; are imaginative and creative; can usually win others over to their way of thinking; like things that are new and different; have no problem expressing themselves.
If I had to sum up expressive personalities in a word I’d say they’re balanced. Of the four personality types their answers had the least amount of variance. In other words, all of the principles of influence work well with them.
Because expressive personality types are relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey that they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, two personalities that are task focused much more than they are on building relationships. Some persuasion advice when dealing with an expressive:
Definitely spend time engaging the liking principle with them, because they want to like the people they interact with. Oprah certainly cares about closing the deal but she also cares about you and your story so look for ways to connect with her. If she likes you it’s a good bet she’ll go out of her way to help you.

Expressive personalities responded more to reciprocity than any other personality type so look for ways to genuinely help them and they’ll respond in kind much more than pragmatics or thinkers will.
As was the case with pragmatics, in a business setting overcoming uncertainty is key for expressives.
Sharing trends and what others are doing – the principle of consensus – can be quite effective with expressives. Oprah types want to move the masses and they know it’s easier to swim with a wave rather than against it so share what many others are already doing.
Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effectiveroute with this group.