Spotting a liar is complicated, as author Kevin Goodman outlines in his latest Huffington Post Blog “5 Guidelines to Catch a Liar”.
In his post, Goodman asserts that traditional signs of lying such as averting the eyes, fidgeting and playing with one’s hair are not necessarily proof of deception. Why, you ask?
In their effort to be convincing, liars, actually tend to make good eye contact. Carol Goman substantiates this claim asserting that liars tend to overcompensate their eye contact in that they stare for too long.
As for fidgeting, that could easily be a sign of an innocent but overly anxious person. Dr. Paul Ekman stated in a 1999 NY Times article that “an innocent suspect fearful about being believed, for example, may leak evidence of anxiety or apprehension. The lie catcher must evaluate the meaning of the signals in each individual case”
So if lie detection experts aren’t always relying on these false indicators of deception, what other tactics are they using?
SUE
Goodman discusses a new interview approach favored by many police psychologists and deception researchers called SUE (strategic use of evidence). The approach involves the interrogator allowing the suspect to comfortably tell their account of what happened and then at a later point, the interrogator introduces evidence. The purpose of this method is to disclose inconsistencies. Lying involves mental effort; with this in mind, this approach forces the suspected liar to account for what happened against the evidence and thus, increases the potential for the liar’s contradiction. Keep in mind, this approach is only beneficial with actual evidence.
Non-Confrontational Approach
Lying requires constant mental effort as the liar is battling their story against the truth; therefore the propensity of vagueness and the risk of contradiction ensues. Goodman suggests that the interviewer can gain the upper hand in this situation by maintaining a non-confrontational approach, meaning make the liar feel comfortable with sharing their account of what happened as well as follow-up with details. This way if inconsistencies in the liar’s story verses the truth arises, the details can therefore be verified.
Observing Baseline Behavior
As mentioned earlier, lie catchers note that fidgeting can be a sign of an overly anxious but innocent person, and likewise, overly constrained behavior can stem from naturally reserved people. To tackle this situation, experts observe a person’s baseline behavior – the process of developing a basic understanding of a person’s normal body language.
Microexpressions
Microexpressions are said to help reveal the disparity between how one presents oneself and how one authentically feels. Although microexpressions are involuntary expressions lasting a fraction of a second, Dr. David Matsumoto of San Francisco State University, asserts that people can be trained to spot them when they occur. Goodman suggests that one good way to delve into a more in depth conversation with a witness or suspect is to ask the same types of questions in varying ways (referring to the event in question) and closely watch their microexpressions.
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“Before I learned the art, a punch was just a punch, and a kick, just a kick. After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick, no longer a kick. Now that I understand the art, a punch is just a punch and a kick is just a kick.” – Bruce LeeIf martial arts is about fighting then what does the quote above from the greatest martial artist of the last century – some might say all time – have to do with relationships?Bruce Lee’s observation had to do with more than punching and kicking. It had to do with mastering whatever you set out to do. If you observe children they’re free in almost everything they do. They don’t think, they just do. Now, they may punch or kick poorly, or play the piano poorly, or swing a golf club the wrong way, but they’re uninhibited when they do so.Then they begin to learn the right way, the proper techniques, and all of a sudden there’s more to a powerful punch or kick than they realized. As they concentrate, trying hard to perform correctly, what was so free and easy actually becomes quite difficult. However, with time, patience and enough practice it gets easier and easier. Eventually they perform very well without even thinking. The punch and kick have once again become just a punch and kick.If you’ve taken up golf, played an instrument or tried anything else that required skill then I’m sure you can relate to this. It’s hard to do something when you’re thinking about all the steps you need to go through to perform the task. The mechanics of a golf swing are a great example. The pros make it look easy but a good golf swing is an intricate process.Relationships can be quite similar. A while ago Abigail and I spent a day together and she talked about someone she liked, someone she’d known for many years. When they were just friends she said it was easy to talk but as the relationship began to change it wasn’t so easy. Going from friend to something more requires better communication skills and the transition can be hard.Jane and I have been married for 25 years and right now things are really good and pretty easy. We went through our phases where that wasn’t the case. The honeymoon was easy. Life got tougher as the novelty wore off and we began to “do life.” We started to really get to know each other and some of the things that were cute at first became irritating. Eventually we turned a corner and began to realize those sometimes cute, sometimes irritating things are part of what makes each of us unique. All of a sudden we went from cute to irritating to appreciation.You could say we’ve learned the art of navigating our relationship. No longer do we look for hidden meaning behind the words and wrestle with things like we used to. We pretty much accept each other for who we are, how we appear and what we say. If we think there’s more to the communication we just ask each other what’s meant by the statement. It’s amazing how often that stymies negative thoughts and stops a bad period before it even starts.No one takes up martial arts and expects to perform like a black belt right away any more than a new golfer expects to play like a PGA pro. And the same is true of relationships. You can’t just jump into a relationship and expect to land where it takes others decades to reach.But here’s the good news – you can make strides much faster if you dedicate yourself to the process and have people who can coach you. In the taekwondo studio, Abigail and I learned from the more senior black belts and the studio owner Grandmaster Black. When Jane golfs she dedicates time to practice regularly and works with a pro. For each of us practice, patience and coaching paid off.When it comes to mastering the art of human relationships, having good friends who can speak into your life with brutal honesty is like a coach offering correction to an athlete. If your friends are wise and you’re coachable you can enjoy more fulfilling relationships much, much sooner. After all, learning from other’s mistakes and successes can help you avoid the mistakes and enjoy success much, much sooner.So let me end with a couple of questions. Do you have a business coach or mentor you turn to consistently? If not, you should seriously consider seeking out someone because it could make a big difference in your performance.Do you have a life coach or accountability partner, someone you check in with regularly who can speak freely into your life? Again, something you should give thought to. There’s no better time to implement a great change than moving into the New Year.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.