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According to Ed Leigh and The National Journal, Russians aren’t returning smiles that are so freely given by many American and Europeans during this exciting and joyous time of the Winter Olympics.
Why are these smiles not reciprocated?
Well, its not as spiteful as you might think. When Leigh asked a native Russian why no one was returning his smiley greetings he was told, “In Russia only two types of people smile: idiots and rich people—and rich people don’t walk on the street.“
What may be perceived as a friendly and sincere greeting from Americans and many Europeans, comes off as a forced and insincere gesture for Russians. In their culture, one must have a good reason for smiling and that reason should be obvious to the smiler and the receiver of the smile.
So its more of the cultural norm than a personal attack against another culture or nationality. For Russians, a smile in public is not the polite expression that Americans reflexively offer strangers on the street. When people smile without hesitation—for no reason—Russians tend to find those grins artificial or insincere and they think those people have a few screws loose.
Americans, on the other hand, seem to smile for any reason at all. The “American smile” has a long-standing bad reputation in Russia, explained Michael Bohm, the opinion-page editor of The Moscow Times.
There are many reasons why Russians do not smile as readily as other cultures. As the article points out during the early Soviet era in the 1980s when anti-U.S. propaganda abounded, Soviet media regularly blasted reports called “Their Customs,” explaining that Americans, a power-hungry people, smiled to deceive others.
“There’s so much to be happy about here!“ the Soviet government told its people—guaranteed jobs and housing, free education, a nuclear war chest to protect the empire – yet the people were waiting in line to buy bread or milk.
The very form of government can dictate how its people control their expression of emotions, according to Dr. David Matsumoto, an expert on microexpressions, gesture, and nonverbal behavior. In collectivist nations, like Russia and China, people tend to neutralize happy expressions, blending in with the rest of the population. In contrast, members of individualist societies, like the United States, crack smiles freely and often, reflecting the openness of their political climate.
Everyday life for Russian people has historically been grueling, and their hardships were reflected in their expressiveness. Russia’s poker face “has little to do with Dostoevsky or the cold climate,” Bohm says, and much more to do with centuries of government oppression and corruption.
What are your thoughts on the Russian poker face?
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I owe Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D., an apology. I suspect a lot of other people do as well. Dr. Mehrabian is a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). He garnered widespread attention for his research in the area of non-verbal communication in the 1960s. If you’re in business then it’s very likely you’ve been exposed to his work. Here’s what you might have heard or read: In face-to-face communication only 7% of your message is based on what you say. Your tone of voice accounts for 38% and your body language is 55%. On the phone it’s 13% words and 87% tone of voice.This prompted many people – me included – to place too much importance on tone of voice and body language during communication training. It’s not bad to work on those areas to make your communication more effective. The problem is that it has us putting too much emphasis on tone and body language.It’s amazing how a story told from a speaker platform, mentioned in a book or noted on a blog is simply taken as gospel. After all, that well-respected speaker, author or blogger wouldn’t make such a glaring mistake … would he or she? I certainly did.I’ve come to understand nearly everyone of us has misinterpreted and misapplied Dr. Mehrabian’s work. This came to light a few weeks ago when I wrote about The Importance of Congruent Messages When Persuading. At that time I also saw a social media post from a friend that prompted me to read more about Dr. Mehrabian and his work. Here’s what I found.
Dr. Mehrabian’s work very specifically had to do with communicating feelings and attitudes. If subjects felt there was inconsistency between a person’s words and tone or body language then they took more of their cues from the tone and body language. An example would be an apology. Two people can use the very same words and one person might be whole-heartedly believed while the other might not. It’s easy to utter the words but if the apology is not sincere it’s very likely the tone of voice, facial expressions or other body language might convey a different message. You can probably think of a time where someone said the right words but you knew they didn’t mean it because of other cues you picked up on.On the other hand, if you go to a presentation about home ownership you’re probably not assessing – consciously or unconsciously – the believability of the message based on the speaker’s tone of voice or body language. If you contend with anything it will most likely be the facts (words) he or she uses during the presentation. There’s little in the way of attitude or feelings to be assessed in such a fact-based presentation.So now what? By all means, don’t discount tone or body language when communicating because both can enhance your presentation tremendously. As I’ve worked on voice inflection and body language over the years I know my presentation skills have improved significantly. But don’t forget, content is king in most presentations. You don’t want to leave a meeting and have people remember what you wore but not what you said. After all, the reason for a meeting or presentation is to convey ideas so everything you do should enhance the message. Let me conclude by saying I’m sorry, Dr. Mehrabian, I really am. I’ve learned a good lesson and hope you can forgive me. If you could hear me and see me I’m sure you could tell my tone of voice and body language are in line with my apology. My 7%-38%-55% messaging is congruent.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”. Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world. 