Social Engineering Blogs

Chapter 8: The Nonverbal Side of Elicitation

Chapter 8 opens with Robert Dreeke’s ‘Top Ten Principles for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone,’ which he has listed once before in this book. They are:

1. Artificial time constraints.
2. Accommodating non-verbals.
3. Slower rate of speech.
4. Sympathy and assistance themes.
5. Ego suspension.
6. Validation.
7. Ask how, when, why questions.
8. Quid pro quo.
9. Reciprocal altruism.
10. Manage expectations.

For more information, I recommend Googling ‘Robert Dreeke 10 Principles Building Rapport.’

Though I haven’t yet fully read Robert Dreek’s ‘Not All About “Me,”‘ I do feel that this list is missing some key rapport building techniques, most notably ‘Mirroring,’ where you mirror the targets gestures, stance and manner of speech.

Hadnagy then lists a few questions that typically go through the head of someone being approached:

– “Who is this?”

– “What does he want?”

– “Is he a threat?”

– “How long will he be a part of my life?”

He then goes down Dreek’s list point by point, explaining how they each answer one or more of those questions. Though interesting, it’s nothing you wouldn’t find by Googling those principles – and again, could have been shorter.

Finally, we get to the eyebrows, the last part of the body that wasn’t specifically covered yet, and how they are used to communicate conversational signals.

Take Hadnagy’s advice and learn all about them by just noticing the eyebrows as you see people talking, and as you are talking to people. Replicate the expression you’d make under the circumstances of disbelief, astonishment, skepticism, and notice the situations where you’d make use of a head nod and head bobbling. Practice using them more frequently to show you’re engaged in the conversation.

Chapter 9: Putting It All Together:

This chapter shows two things very clearly:

1) This book never gets around to becoming a proper learning experience. It falls short of whatever its intended goal is.

2) Hadnagy is a true inspiration and it is no surprise why he is still a hero of mine, and a shining example of what I hope I can someday be.

It is so clear that this book, and his previous, and Social Engineering as an art and a science, is so deeply personal to Hadnagy. I don’t think anyone can quite say they have the passion and knowledge and presence that Hadnagy has in this field. To me, he is the lifeblood of Social Engineering.

He has such an obvious concern for the well-being of not only his clients, but his readership, and people in general. He is not only one of the best, if not the best social engineer, but deeply and profoundly moral as well.

He and I agree that intent, not method, decides morality. What he understands better than anyone, however, is that education and then action is the fix for most, if not all the dark that we humans create. Knowledge, and the motivation to use that knowledge.

Hadnagy often states, and now is no exception, that your goal should be to ‘Have them feel better for having met you,’ with which I couldn’t agree more.

His other advice includes using skilled and experienced ‘training partners’ when learning Social Engineering ‘self-defense,’ which is generally good advice, and he advises us to practice (perfectly) often, until all of it becomes second nature, or at least intuitive to some degree.

Lastly, in conclusion of his book, he asks of us all that we learn and teach to think critically about all information, not just some. Explore and test your realities and their limits, including everything you take for granted on a daily basis, like a woman in orange work uniform asking you if you ‘are willing to donate to ‘charity x’.’

If by any chance Hadnagy should ever read this, and not be discouraged or dissuaded from reading to this point, I would like to thank him, from the bottom of my heart, for the knowledge and inspiration he has given me over the years.

Without him, none of what I do would be possible. And without doing what I do, I wouldn’t have been where or who I am. And, I hope to have done him proud in some way, even if he vehemently disagrees with every single point I’ve raised. Even if I’ve made some ludicrous assertions, or some glaring errors, or just generally have not thought everything through quite as well as I thought.

I hope he can appreciate this for what it is: my own personal excursion of critical thought, and my own testing of limits and the status quo.

Continue Reading – [011] Conclusion

Chapter 5: The Science Behind The Face

For those who don’t already know, Ekman identified seven universal emotions, that all show in uncontrollable ‘micro-expressions’ (you can Google it, or check my Encyclopedia), namely Anger, Happiness, Sadness, Surprise, Fear, Disgust and Contempt.

If you want to learn anything about this subject matter (which I hope you would if you’ve considered buying the book I’m reviewing right now), then simply Google FACS (or buy Ekman’s ‘Emotions revealed‘) and use Ekman’s Micro-Expression Training Tool (METT). This is also the summary of this chapter.

Chapter 6: Understanding Nonverbal Displays of Comfort and Discomfort

Using what has been written earlier in the book and some snippets of new information, this chapter explains how to notice, analyze and utilize displays of comfort and discomfort.

(Except, not really. It tells us various signs of comfort and discomfort, and the fact that you should analyze them is implied in the subject matter. How? Granted, the chapter title never says it will train you in doing any of it, but then what is the point in reading it when other books_ do? _But there is hope! Chapter 9, ‘Non-Verbal Communication and the Social Engineer’ will surely fill out all these gaps, won’t it? Eh…)

New area: Neck and Face Pacifying. Strong indicators of discomfort. Watch for changes. Watch for tells. Find out why.

Another new area: Mouth Covers. Show of shock or surprise, strong indicator of discomfort. Watch for changes. Watch for tells. Find out why.

Another new area: Lips. Lips show signs of emotion. Can indicator discomfort or hesitation. Watch. Watch. Find.

Fourth area: Eye Blocking. Indicates sadness. Not going to bother with the rest.

Last area: Self-comforting and Head Tilts. See above.

This chapter was definitely more worthwhile than the others, if only because these area’s aren’t mentioned as often elsewhere as the others are, but they are still bits of information that are already known to must of us and didn’t need the amount of space they were given to be explained to newcomers.

Chapter 7: The Human Emotion Processor

This is the one. This is the chapter that made me doubt my own sanity – my own skillset, my entire opinion of this book and my entire opinion of myself. The reason for it was simple: This book had me hoping, against all odds and past experience, that it was going to be worthwhile – something extraordinary, something revolutionary, or at least something that showed why Christopher Hadnagy is the one that sets and raises the bar when it comes to detailing all facets of Social Engineering. And, this chapter seemed to be a turning point.

The obligatory ‘our brain is a computer’-metaphor was rhetorically satisfactory, and did what it set out to do without using up too much space and time. It is followed by some important (though not novel) things to remember and be aware of:

1. Our emotion affects our perception and reaction to a situation. Our emotions modulate our perceptions and affect memories as well, allowing them to trigger very strong reactions.

2. Emotion involves an appraisal process that occurs in our internal processors to create a response. For comparison, look at the oft-repeated adages ‘Things are what we make them.’ and ‘No one can hurt you without your consent.’

He moves on to the amygdala, where the key take-aways are that the 1) amygdala creates a response before we’re even consciously aware something happened, and 2) the amygdala requires only a single negative experience to decide that something is a threat.

He then raises the interesting notion that ‘there must be a way to hijack someone’s amygdala to create the emotional content that you want in there,‘ and with that, my heart started racing.

Perhaps irrationally, but I hadn’t been this enthused to read on and soak up information since I first read Daniel Wegner’s ‘Illusion of the Conscious Will,’ or Stuart Sutherland’s ‘Irrationality‘ (my own personal introduction into the amazing realm of psychology), or even Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’ I was prepared to have my mind be blown, feel ten times smarter than I had been before, now aware of this amazing piece of knowledge that I had needed all along to transcend to a higher plane of being.

Contrary to what you might assume, I was not disappointed in that regard. Or in that regard, I should say.

Because my other belief was that this chapter would redeem the minimal quantity of compelling content the book had provided this far. That, needless to say, wasn’t the case.

You have to understand that it takes a very little to please me – I love learning things. If I can read a book and see even one thing in a completely new perspective, I’ll be left satisfied. Well, I did have a moment like that. It did please me, and it was little. One line, actually:

In this first section, we learn ‘Triggering, or hijacking, the emotional, empathetic, or social regions of the brain can shut down the person’s ability to think logically.’

A sort of an Emotional Human Buffer Overload, you could say. Had I not already heard of this? Of course I had. ‘Flipnosis‘ by Kevin Dutton makes mention of it, and in fact bases an entire book around the idea. But I had never thought that it could be applied so broadly – the endless new possibilities raced through my mind, and it left me manic and giddy like a child for the briefest moment.

All in all, it comes down to this: ‘Activate someone’s empathy centre. Activate their social centre. Activate their emotional centre. Use microexpressions or other means of non-verbal communications to do so. Exploit their moment of mental weakness.’

That is my personal summary, anyway. Now I’m left to ask myself the question: ‘Since you (the reader) now know this, if you didn’t already, what other things of note does the book provide? What makes it an essential book to have?’ I’ll answer that question in this review’s conclusion.

Moving on, we must remember that ‘The brain subconsciously recognizes nonverbal communications and then reacts.’

Then, ‘… our nonverbal communications play a major role in our reactions to a given situation,’ which is important to realize because:

1) ‘Learning to read other people’s nonverbal communication can help you understand their true intentions and motivations.’

2) Your own expression and non-verbals can give-away emotions your pretext doesn’t support, and controlling them is essential when trying to influence the other person emotionally.

3) When you’re aware of not just the emotional state of your pretext, and not just the emotional state of your target, but also the emotional state of the room you’re both in (the ‘atmosphere’), then you can set your own emotions to match and be more convincing as a result.

The rest is anecdote, which is actually something I wanted to touch on: Hadnagy’s anecdotes are, as always, an absolute pleasure to read. He really makes his own personal adventures come to life in our minds, and for that briefest of moments, we feel like the social engineer Hadnagy is — the one we all wish we could be.

However, there are simultaneously too few and too many anecdotes, and if I were to ask for more, I’d ask Hadnagy to write an autobiography, not an instructional book.

This chapter was by far the most interesting and stimulating one in the entire book. I have no real criticisms to levy at it, except for it being far too little of a good thing, and far too late.

Continue Reading – Chapters 8 and 9

Chapter 3: Understanding the Language of the Hands

After a lengthy explanation that brings to attention the way hands not only communicate language, but also emotion, Hadnagy notes that people may sometimes subconsciously give away their own emotional state and discomfort (not necessarily because they’re lying, discomfort for any reason).

He hasn’t mentioned it quite yet, but he’s going to soon, and often, so I will here write down what we’ll call ‘The Golden Rule of Reading People:’ Just because you know what a person is feeling or thinking, does not necessarily mean you know why.

This is all-important, and pretty much the only reason for which I’d recommend buying this book without hesitation: to be continually reminded of it.

So: Write it down.

Whether someone is becoming uncomfortable when you ask them to clarify on a story element, or you see hints of anger come across their face when mentioning their deceased father, or when you see them playing with their jewelry (‘manipulating’ an object): You’ve established that the behavior has moved away from the base-line. Nothing more.

As Hadnagy mentioned in chapter one: hands display emotions by four means of communication: emblems, gestures, illustrators, and manipulators. (You can Google this.)

Next, he mentions how Ekman and Wallace developed a sytem of understanding this type of body language, comprised of these three parts: Origin, Coding, and Usage. (You can Google this.)

This entire next section is him explaining where those four means of communication originate and how they are used. While doing this, he further expands the topic with subdivisions and elaborates on more general definitions. The other important take-away is this: Different cultures have different usages for the same gestures.

I have to give credit where credit is due: though there are way too many images to illustrate very simple points, at least the illustrations here still provide a tangible benefit for the reader, allowing them to quickly internalize the information. It also provides the reader with a nice little confidence boost that may take shape in the forms ‘Cool, I already knew that one!’ and ‘I will definitely look out for those!’ (And then congratulating themselves whenever they manage to find a fitting example, even when analyzing a memory.) Even if Hadnagy isn’t quite yet instructing them to look for them, the reader is already priming himself for it at this point.

Off-topic:

Is that a strength of the book? Not really, no. Because what I just did is assuming at best – there could’ve been summaries, key take-aways and exercises to ensure the reader does internalize and apply the knowledge, yet they aren’t there.Since the book lacks any other clear aim, a training/instruction manual and accompanying template, or a text-book format, would’ve served the already limited and old content quite well.

This is a point I’ll make right now in general so I won’t have to reprise it at every point where it’s relevant: On a training course website, this content and set-up could’ve worked, but of course then the content would’ve been insufficient and incomplete at best. As a book, it is insufficient entirely. One could set you up to learn this entire book in less than half an hour, with a better retention rate, more practical usage advice, better analysis, and training resources that didn’t already exist prior to the site’s inception.

I’m flabbergasted that this doesn’t already exist – I am surprised that Hadnagy didn’t yet take the opportunity to make such a training website and make his SE.org Framework an understandable and intuitive learning experience. But I digress.

Back on topic:

The upcoming few sections are the ones with the set of images I described much earlier, at the start of this review. The first section here is about ‘High-confidence Hand Displays,’ which are steeples, thumb displays, ventral displays and genital displays. It makes some extra key points that I won’t all list, but one of them is using ‘open palms’ to seem open.

A quick tip: Roll up your sleeves, and wear V-Neck shirts or unbutton your blouse (no tie), if you want to seem open.

Another quick tip: Use gestures with open palms, having the effect of inviting in the person you’re talking to.

Then, there’s the Low-Confidence and Stress Hand Displays, which are ‘inverse’ thumb displays, hand wringing (a ‘manipulator’), and closed hands.

Next section before last comes down to: ‘Practice using and noticing these various forms of hand communication.‘ and ‘Perfect practice makes perfect.‘

His summary remarks that to get in-group, you have to use similar gestures to the ones that group or ‘tribe’ uses. Good point. It also remarks that you should probably practice these things ‘in the wild’ first, rather than going into an engagement looking for those things. That’s a fine point as well. Most importantly, it tells you to not look for individual instances, markers or ‘hot-spots,’ but rather to see how the base-lines change and then decipher these emotional changes.

Over-all, there was nothing in this chapter that most of you didn’t know already. (If you don’t know some of these things, use the keywords of this review to Google them, or check my ‘Recommended reading’ section later in the review.)

More than this, it doesn’t seem to be a very complete run-down of all the different aspects of hand communication and the presentations thereof, either. Though I understand that it would be impractical to list all of these in this chapter, as it would interrupt the flow and pacing of the book, nothing stopped them from adding them to the end of this otherwise pretty short book or linking a more complete list.

Chapter 4: The Torso, Legs, and Feet

We move on to the torso, legs and feet. They all have several crucial key-points, all leading back to the main focus of all of this: observing if there’s a change in comfort level, or base-line.

Example: Happy people generally stand on the balls of their feet, nervous people get jittery. If a happy person suddenly stops jumping for joy, or if a person suddenly starts twitching his leg when you mention his best friend, then you’ve hit a ‘hotspot.’ They’ve become discomforted (or the inverse), and now you can decipher why and use that knowledge.

Remember: A change in base-line only tells you that they’ve gone from feeling comfortable to feeling uncomfortable, or the other way around. It doesn’t tell you why.

Leg key points: Feet and legs point in the way a person wants to go, indicating his disinterest. Widening one’s stance indicates one might feel threatened and his trying to establish dominance. Crossing our legs can act as a non-verbal barrier for someone we don’t like.

I almost feel bad about listing these in such a way, as if I’m somehow plagiarizing Hadnagy’s work by doing so, but again, there’s really nothing in here that we don’t already know, and it could’ve been put in table or on a website with greater efficiency and effectiveness, respectively.

‘Torso and arms,’ the next section, contains probably the most useful non-verbal marker we can know, as social engineers and as people:

We tend to lean into things we like and away from things we don’t like. It shows where our real interests lie, including which people we feel most comfortable with/are most interested in.

And that was it, really. I will refrain from continually concluding with ‘nothing we don’t already know.’ When something novel arrives, I’ll tell you. Serviceable chapter, nothing that required a book, however.

Continue Reading – [009] Chapters 5 through 7