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Mind Under Control Blog July 16, 2014

Terminology

Acceptance: Surrender to the reality of a situation, recognizing a thought, emotion, behavior, situation, etc., without attempting to change or protest it.
Internal reward: Feelings of contentment, joy, pride, or any other favorable emotions felt internally toward oneself, as a reward for own perceived achievement.
Cognitive causation: The idea that all emotions stem from cognitive processes, being either conscious or unconscious thoughts.
Ironic Processing a.k.a White bears/Synthetic obsessions: Whenever a thought a repressed, that is to say consciously or subconsciously blocked, it will tend to ‘intrude’ at a later time, when your mind accidentally comes across it. The fear reaction will amplify and it will be blocked again, perpetuating a cycle where a simple thought, however innocent, can become immensely detrimental and destructive. These unwanted thoughts are the root of pretty much all perpetual stress and negative emotion.
Personalization: A cognitive distortion whereby a person assumes responsibility for a negative experience even when there is no basis for doing so. They erroneously conclude that what happened was their fault, or reflects an inadequacy on their part. It is a distortion because only circumstances or behaviors can be problematic, never a person. More generally, personalization implies believing yourself to be a burden on others.
Presence: One of three fundamental behaviors of a charismatic person. Being present means having a moment-to-moment awareness of what’s happening around you, and paying attention to what’s going on around you, and paying attention to other people, rather than being caught up in your own thoughts. Like other charismatic behaviors, it is a learnable skill.
Warmth: One of three fundamental behaviors of a charismatic person. Warmth means showing goodwill towards others. It tells others whether or not you will want to use your power in their favor. Being seen as warm means being perceived as being one or more of the following: benevolent, altruistic, caring, and more generally willing to impact the world in a positive way. Like other charismatic behaviors, it is a learnable skill.
Power: One of three fundamental behaviors of a charismatic person. Being seen as powerful means being perceived as able to affect the world around us, through influence on and authority over others, by having lots of wealth, by having expertise, by being intelligent, by having large physical strength, or by having high social status. Like other charismatic behaviors, it is a learnable skill.
Mood: Your mood is the result of balancing of all your negative and positive thoughts, emotions, memories. It has either a positive or negative valence, i.e. a good mood or a bad mood, respectively. Your mood acts as a defense mechanisms against incongruent thoughts, meaning a good mood will actively suppress and reject negative thoughts, and vice versa. A mood is a complex and highly dynamic Thought Web.
Incongruity: One of five key components of effective persuasion. Incongruity more broadly refers to anything that doesn’t agree with what precedes it. A negative thought is incongruent with a positive mood, and Flipnosis relies on building expectations and then breaking them to cause an exaggerated positive response.
Flipnosis: Also known as split-second persuasion, this is a persuasion technique that utilizes the five major axis of persuasion, S.P.I.C.E., to allow for on the spot, instant persuasion and rapid rapport building.
S.P.I.C.E.: S.P.I.C.E. is an acryonym for the five most important axis of persuasion: Simplicity, Perceived Self-interest, Incongruity, Confidence, and Empathy. They are and the key components of successful Flipnosis.
Simplicity: One of five key components of effective persuasion. Persuasion is most effective when what is said can be easily understood by the Target. Simple words, metaphors, and short sentences all help promote ease of understanding.

Perceived Self-interest: One of five key components of effective persuasion. Refers to the appearance of a course of action, a behavior, or a situation as beneficial to a Target.
Confidence: One of five key components of effective persuasion. Refers to the sense of self-efficacy, self-esteem and expertise a person exerts.
Empathy: One of five key components of effective persuasion. More than warmth and emotionality, it refers to a persons ability to understand and relate to others and their interests.
Target: A person you are interacting with and trying to influence in any social engineering effort or general social setting.
Sincerity: An of honesty and openness, as conveyed to and perceived by your Target. Sincerity is hard to fake, so genuinely aspire to be a good conversational partner, whatever your intention may be.
Sincere Interest: Sincere interest refers to your demonstrated interest in another person, their interests and their well-being. It gives them a sense of being understood and worthwhile. It is developed and trained by consciously training and applying Empathy.
Stress: Refers to any unwanted emotion, feeling, cognition, or physical sensation, irrespective of whether its origin is positive or negative.
Aspects of Motivation: Anything that promotes a desire to act, e.g. a sense of self-efficacy, perceived self-interest, (expected) external reward, and (expected) internal reward.
Aspects of Stress: The counterpart to Aspects of Motivation. Anything that reduces the desire to act, e.g. lowered sense of self-efficacy, (expected) internal punishment, (expected) external punishment, a sense of powerlessness, a sense of hopelessness.
Top-Down Reasoning: A method of discovering the Fundamental Negative Cognition. Utilizes questions that force a person to dig down lower into their Thought Web, e.g. ‘Why does that matter to me?’ and “Why is that a problem to me?”
Fundamental Negative Cognition: The underlying thought at the root of any Thought Web. Can belong to any of four Cognitive Domains: Responsibility/Guilt, Control, Self-worth, or Safety.
Thought Web: The collection of Positive Cognitions and Negative Cognitions belonging to a specific mental abstraction, such as an experience or person. Has at its root a Fundamental Positive Cognition or Fundamental Negative Cognition, depending on its valence.
Cognitive Domains: Each Positive Cognition or Negative Cognition belongs in one of four cognitive domains: Responsibility/Guilt, Control, Self-worth, or Safety. Examples of Fundamental Positive Cognitions for each domain are “I am not at fault,” “I am in control,” “I am a worthwhile person,” and “I am safe,” respectively. Examples of Fundamental Negative Cognitions for each domain are “I am at fault,” “I am powerless,” “I am worthless,” and “I am in danger,” respectively.
Absolute Worth: The assumed truth that your value as a human being, and as a person, can never change or be lost.
Acceptance: The awareness of the reality of things, and your conscious allowing of things to be as they are. Realizing that all is necessarily as it is, and thus how it should be, and that though it can change, it should never be expected or hoped for it to change, cause you to have more Presence, and nurture more Synthetic Happiness. It is a fundamental component of Mindfulness, necessary for being able to live in the Now, and helps neutralize all forms of stress, since nothing can both be simultaneous unwanted and accepted.
Equifinality: The assumed truth that everything ends up with the same valence in the end, so that it becomes irrational to worry. All losses and pain are neutralized and accepted in the end, and all successes and pleasure are as well, unless intentionally revisited. This implies nothing matters enough in the end to warrant worry, stress or discomfort in the Now.
Forgiveness: The same as Acceptance in all but a semantic sense. When forgiving others, forgiving circumstances and experiences, and most importantly forgiving yourself, you are really just accepting the reality of a situation and releasing the hold of all negativity. After all, forgiveness is not for others, it’s for you.
Futural Perspective: The realization that what doesn’t matter in three years, doesn’t matter at all. See also: Equifinality.
Fearlessness: Absence of doubt or reservation; absence of consideration for possible dangers, failings, or misfortunes; and absence of inhibition.
Futility of Doubt: See Futility of Negativity and the Certainty Principle.
Futility of Negativity: The realization that any negative emotion or cognition, such as doubt or worry, cannot help you under any circumstances, and there is no advantage to having or defending them. When something has a negative or unhelpful impact on you by causing stress in any way, you have a conscious choice to rid yourself of negativity and remove that stress from your life.
Futility of Worry: See Futility of Negativity. Remember: “If you can do something about it, there’s no need to worry. If you can’t do anything about it, there’s no need to worry.”
Uncertainty Principle: Humans have a fundamental aversion to uncertainty, and experience stress when indecisive or being unsure of what to do.
Certainty Principle: To rid yourself of the stress that comes from uncertainty, doubt and worry, it is better to “Do or do not, but decide.”
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Filed Under: General

The Influence People Blog July 14, 2014

The Messenger Can Make All the Difference

Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it that can make all the difference. And sometimes it’s not what is said but who said it that makes all the difference.I bet most of you would agree that our children are vitally important to our future. After all, at some point each of us will be retired and the fortunes of our investments and the direction of our country will be in the hands of the next generation – our children.The late Whitney Houston said as much in her enormously popular hit song, Greatest Love of All. The song opens:I believe the children are our futureTeach them well and let them lead the wayThere’s another well-known quote that goes like this, “He alone who owns the youth gains the future.” Any idea who said that? If you’re like most people you probably didn’t know it was Adolf Hitler. I’m guessing despite the reality that children are our future and that you might have even agreed with the quote, it probably doesn’t sit well with you now that you know who said it. Sometimes the messenger can make all the difference! If Whitney Houston had sung, “He alone who owns the youth gains the future,” and Adolf Hitler had said, “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way,” we’d all feel exactly the opposite about the quotes.This comes to mind because a church in Alabama used the Hitler quote on a billboard to advertise their youth group! There may be truth to Hitler’s words but no one with any gumption about how to persuade would try to use Hitler’s words in a positive way because he’s considered one of the most evil people to ever walk the planet. Would you want to send your kids to a youth group that’s quoting Hitler?In persuasion the principle of authority tells us it’s easier for people to say yes to those who have superior wisdom or knowledge. To effectively use this principle of influence you need two things – expertise and credibility. Without both you’ll never succeed. For example, Bernie Madoff has expertise. Despite his pyramid scheme, he does know about investing. But would you trust him with your money? I hope not!On the flip side, you probably have friends you’d trust your life with … but not your money, because they have no expertise when it comes to investing.Whether it’s investing, taxes, legal advice, etc., we want people we can trust and those we view as having expertise if we’re to do what they suggest.Authority can also be borrowed. When I present I use lots of quotes from well-known people. I do so for a couple of reasons.First, if I say something, people might agree with me, but if Dale Carnegie, Ronald Reagan or Dr. Martin Luther King say it, people will more easily agree because their reputations precede them.Second, my use of quotes shows I’m well-read and that does add to my personal authority. If people view me as well-read then they naturally assume I’m smarter for it and are therefore more willing to listen to what I have to say.However, when I choose to use a quote I’m conscious of what it says AND who said it. Many infamous people have made true statements (even a broken clock is right twice a day!) but I would almost never use them because the reaction would be the same as your reaction to Hitler’s quote.Here’s the bottom line if you’re looking to be a master persuader. Keep your reputation intact so people trust you and continue to develop expertise in your chosen field. When you need to borrow authority, make sure the quote and messenger will both be acceptable to your audience. Do these simple things and your ability to get to yes will go up rather dramatically.Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Filed Under: Communication, Influence, Psychology, Ronald Reagan. Martin Luther King

The Humintell Blog July 14, 2014

The Science of Emotions

Given their inherent subjective nature, emotions have long been a nearly impenetrable topic for scientific research. Affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp explains a modern approach to emotions, and how taking the emotions of other animals seriously might soon improve the lives of millions.

 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Filed Under: Science

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