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How Not To Persuade Your Neighbours

I walked into work last Monday and saw the below piece of paper on the driveway.  It was face up so I thought I would stop and read it to ensure it wasn’t anyone’s personal information, etc.  This quickly turned into a persuasion exercise and I immediately thought – wow!  This is an example of how not to persuade your neighbours.

Persuade Your Neighbours

Let’s review some of the mistakes.

Line #1 – “To Neighbour”, not Dear Neighbour or hi just “To”.  This is not personal and sets the tone for the note – it is a direction not an invite to cooperate.

Line #2 – “Unit 4 will be moving on Thursday 4th September 2014 at 7.30am. We will have the truck in the driveway from that time until 9.30am”

Great it gives the details and after Line #1 I may excuse the tone as they are helping me out with some helpful information – perhaps to let me know that I might be impacted by their actions.

Here comes the cracker though – no cooperation, no consideration, just a self-centered slap in the face “Can you please move your vehicles prior to that time. To ensure minimum movement of the truck” 

“Sorry for any inconvenience” is that a statement to themselves that they are sorry for the inconvenience my vehicles are causing them or sorry for the inconvenience of having to take the time to write this note!!

Now I get why the note was on the driveway and had been run over several times.

This is a classic example of it all being about the author.  There is no effort or thought of the other party – just very selfish and self-centered direction.  All so they don’t have to move the truck – bah-humbug!

What if they had of written something like this:

Hi fellow residents of 123 XYZ Street,

You may have seen some activity in Unit 4 lately.  Our time is up and we are moving to a new home so we wanted to give you as much detail about the move as we could because of our shared driveway.

We have a removal truck booked for Thursday 4th September 2014.  So as not to park you in or cause you any surprise, the truck will be onsite from 7.30-9.30am.  We know this is a prime time for people coming and going so we would like to park the truck in the visitors bay near the door because we want to reduce disruption to you and your family/colleagues.

We will be in the carpark from 7am to see if any cars are impeded by the truck.  You may like to move your cars earlier or even the night before if you are concerned but of course it is entirely up to you.  If you think this movement will impact on you adversely please let us know on the numbers below or just come and knock on the door.

Thanks

Bill & Jen (Unit 4)

Bill – 0434555111 / Jen 0434 555555

Let me know how you would have written it.

 

The post How Not To Persuade Your Neighbours appeared first on Social Influence Consulting Group.

4 Gestures That Turn People Off

© Andres Rodriguez

© Andres Rodriguez

A new article featured on the Inc website suggests that small movements that you make–movements you probably aren’t aware of–could be the key to whether others trust you–or not. 

The article features the work of Dr. David DeSteno, a Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University. The details of the study is outlined in this video.

Through their research, DeSteno and his team found that 4 specific gestures were associated untrustworthiness. Those gestures are:

1. Hand-Touching

The article suggests that hand-touching can make you look tentative and nervous, which could cause observers to think you are hiding something or not being honest, or that you lack confidence. Clasping your hands together may also be interpreted as a closing-off gesture: It could look as if you were putting up a fence between yourself and the people you’re speaking with.

2. Touching your own face

Touching your own face is a common gesture that signals you are thinking. But what you are thinking is unknown to those who are trying to determine if you can be trusted. And if they don’t know you well, the safe choice might be to decide that you’re up to no good.

3. Crossing your arms, and

Crossing your arms is a classic closing gesture. Crossing the arms tends to communicate that your true feelings will remain undisclosed, and that you are not open for collaboration.

4. Leaning Away

We like people who like us. When you lean in, you express the desire to be close. When you lean away, you could very well be seen as someone who is running away, disengaged, or avoiding contact–you’re aloof on the balcony, not moshing on the dance floor.

Those of us in any relationship, be it personal or professional, need to earn the trust others. With a little practice, you can avoid touching your hands and face, crossing your arms, or leaning away from people you’re conversing with.