Body Language is very important to understand as a Social Engineer. Ever heard of microexpressions? Microexpressions are facial expressions that cannot be consciously controled and so are very important to recognize.
They can only last for a few miliseconds but with some practice they are fairly easy to catch.
1. Anger
Anger is particularly easy to spot on a human face as it is a stark warning – if you see someone looking at you with this expression you will be acutely aware of its implications.
2. Contempt
Normally contempt is visible on the face as a kind of half smile. One corner of the mouth is drawn inwards and upwards, signifying an extreme dislike that is different to disgust and anger. It shows a feeling that someone or something is inferior, lacking or worthless, and is a very dangerous emotion, and is more often the expression associated with hate than Anger or Disgust would be.
3. Disgust
Spotting this emotion is not difficult, and if you look for the nostrils flaring upwards it will be pretty obvious. This is based on our nervous system blocking off our nasal passages to avoid unpleasant smells, and a person displaying this emotion will wrinkle their noses, and often squint. Think if it as trying to experience as little of an unpleasant thing as possible, most often wrinkling the nose, raising of the upper lip, squinting and turning the head away.
4. Fear
Eyebrows raised and pulled together, raised upper eyelids, stretched lips. Fear can be easily confused with surprise because of their similarity. Try to notice if the persons eyebrows are pulled together or not.
5. Happiness
Happiness is probably the easiest of all seven. Raised cheeks, corners of the lips are drawn back and up. And remember that real smile always involves muscles around the eyes.
6. Sadness
Sadness shows itself by lip corners pulled down and drooping upper eyelids. Sometimes hard to spot because it can be very subtle and also by people trying to hide it by fake smile. Luckily you now know how to spot fake smiles too.
7. Surprise
Surprise displays in a very clear way, but as I mentioned earlier it is very brief, and may last only 1/5th of a second. A surprised person may open their mouth slightly, raise their eyebrows and widen their eyes. Sometimes this emotion may only display in a very subtle way, without the open mouth and only the slightest widening of the eyes, and this subtler expression is very difficult to see with the naked eye.
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Congratulations! Your prospecting efforts have paid off and you’ve set up your first meeting with the prospective client. Now comes the fun part because you’re going to start building relationships, selling and enjoying success.First impressions matter and your initial contact will determine whether or not you go any further for several reasons:Judging the book by its cover. Growing up we were told never to judge a book by its cover, but we do. Sometimes we do it consciously and sometimes it’s subconscious, but we all do it. Your prospect will do it too so leave nothing to chance. How you dress, act and prepare can make all the difference for that initial impression which happens in less than 30 seconds.Do they want to do business? As you talk, beyond the initial judgment we just touched on, the prospect will be assessing many things as he/she decides whether or not to go forward.Do you want to do business? The prospect isn’t the only one making a decision. Not every prospect is a potential fit for you and you should be assessing whether or not this is an individual or company you can, or want, to do business with.There are two chief aims of this meeting: build rapport and ask enough questions to assess whether or not you can, or even want to, do business with this potential client.Sales trainer and author Jeffrey Gitomer is fond of saying, “All things being equal, people prefer to do business with their friends. All things being not so equal, people still prefer to do business with their friends.” This goes to the heart of the principle of liking, which says people prefer to say, “Yes” to those they know and like.Here’s a great example – ladies’ home parties. Whenever I ask an audience how many ladies have been to Tupperware, Mary Kay or Pampered Chef parties, nearly every female’s hand goes up. I can also tell by their reactions they don’t particularly want to go to those parties so I ask why they go. Inevitably they say, “Because a friend invited me.” They’d have no problem saying “No” to a stranger but when it’s a friend it’s hard to say “No.”The more you put someone at ease, the more you offer genuine compliments and the more you connect over what you have in common, the more the other person will come to like you. But wait, there’s more! As you employ this strategy you will come to like them too and when they sense you really like them everything changes!Another way to build rapport is to engage the principle of reciprocity. The reason this builds rapport is twofold. People feel positively towards those who give to them. Secondly, if what you give or share benefits them in some way they feel more positive towards and more indebted to return the favor. That’s effective use of this powerful principle of influence.Here’s an example. Someone who went through one of my Principles of Persuasion Workshops gave his copy of Influence Science and Practice to a client’s son who was just starting out in business. He was amazed at the look on both of their faces and knew what he’d just done was appreciated and would make a difference in their relationship going forward.Knowing what to give and what you can connect on or compliment requires some up front leg work. Doing a little research online and talking with people who know the prospect shouldn’t take much time and might be a goldmine of ideas on how to leverage both liking and reciprocity. Again, one major goal of the meeting is to have the opportunity to go to the next step in the sales process so building rapport is a must.Next time we’ll look at the qualification process where you really begin to understand the prospect, his/her business and needs. Two principles of influence are especially helpful in this phase of the sales cycle.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.