Social Engineering Blogs

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5 Dangerously Ambiguous Words that Kill Your Persuasion Power

There are words that everyone uses…yes yes I use them too…and no, including a F*%king before the word does not redeem me.

You see them in New York Times and you see them on Buzzfeed and ohhhh you see them so much on Facebook, you want to take out your eyeballs and slow roast them along with a couple marshmallows.

You see people describing their pets using these words and you see them describing the efforts of Mother Teresa using the same words (does anyone else feel that’s disturbing?)

Their sex life is described using the same word

And their new carpet too.

And that is what is wrong with these words….

They are like beige wallpaper…

A wallpaper that no one notices….it doesn’t mean anything…doesn’t do anything…just stays there in its miserable beigeness…doing nothing but being beige…unnoticeable, unremarkable…invisible.

Not ugly, not pretty…just invisible.

What are those words? Behold the most commonly used ambiguous adjectives ever created:

Awesome
Fantastic
Amazing
Great
Wonderful

Here’s a fun fact; do you know that the word Fantastic when used in Real Estate ads actually give the signal to potential buyers that they should bid low (reference: Freakonomics)

When I tested these words in my Language of Persuasion experiment, I saw similar results. I intuitively knew that these were not powerful words but I was using them out of sheer laziness and I told myself “they can’t possibly be doing any harm”…right?

WRONG!

These words hint that there is nothing worth mentioning in the subject being described…that you are eluding to its lack of substance when you use such an ambiguous adjective.

If it was “proven through years of research” or “backed by a rock-solid guarantee” or “the first choice of dentists across the country” or “hand-crafted by French virgins” you would not have to use the word “fantastic” to describe it.

So next time, you are tempted to refer to your offering or product or service or even to yourself as great or fantastic or awesome…do keep in mind that it doesn’t do NOTHING…in fact it does the opposite of great, fantastic and awesome….it makes your offer look lame.

The post 5 Dangerously Ambiguous Words that Kill Your Persuasion Power appeared first on The Persuasion Revolution.

10 Story Activators That Steal Hearts, Create Empathy & Make Them Fall Hopelessly in Love With You

Let’s look at a story “before”:

Today I want to tell you about that time in 5th grade when I was taken to the principal’s’ office because I was caught cheating. This was a school I hated & a principal I despised so it was doubly mortifying. I still remember how my cheeks burned and my legs shook as I stood there wanting to die.

Let’s do a story “after”:

Have you ever been so embarrassed that your cheeks burned, your legs shook and you just wanted to die? What if this was because you were caught cheating and now stood outside the principals’ office waiting your turn to be reprimanded? What if this was at a school that you hated and a principal you despised?
This was me in the summer of 1995 and if you have been there, well my sympathies because I would not wish that fate on my worst enemy.

The before story actually reads pretty well,  it looks like an interesting tale, there are word pictures and you get pulled in immediately.

The problem is the reader is still reading the story like an outsider. Like someone who is detached from the situation, like someone watching a movie with mild interest. Her emotions are under control and she is calm.

She can not feel herself shaking in her boots, instead her mind eye sees a scrawny , miserable 5th grader stuck in a tough situation.

In short, with the “before” story, she is not emotionally invested in the story, while in the “after” she sees herself… and THAT is what makes the “after” so much better.

The ability of your reader to see themselves in a story, to connect and engage and be pulled in hook, line and sinker because now it has become her story.

What every good story needs is story activators. These are phrases that get people fully invested in your story (mind, body & soul) and I am giving you 10 of these magic phrases to activate your own stories and get your people pulled in withal their heart and soul and emotions.

Here are those story activator phrases:
1. Have you ever been in a situation?
2. Imagine yourself at 5 years of age
3. Do you ask yourself…
4. Do you ever notice that…
5. Do you know anyone who…
6. Ever wonder how…
7. Remember when you were in school…
8. Remember the touch, feel & smell of…
9. Do you remember the story of…
10. Can you recall what a (insert strange thing) sounds like?

Use these phrases at the start of your story or even in a story within a story (more on that in a later post) and you will amazed at how quickly and effortlessly, people will get attracted and invested in your story.
Also, in case you don’t know…these phrases also rank quite high on The Language Of Persuasion index…

Don’t know what that is?

Well, in August I started this crazy human experiment. I went through some of the BEST sales pages, emails, call to actions and videos in my “inspiration” section and decided to test their efficacy. I took words, phrases, call to actions, buzzwords etc. from these pages and tested these with the masses to gauge the emotional reaction of people reading those words…and the results? Blew my freakin’ mind all over my keyboard!

If this intrigues you, don’t forget to get on my list by signing up below…I will be sharing these results very soon.

The post 10 Story Activators That Steal Hearts, Create Empathy & Make Them Fall Hopelessly in Love With You appeared first on The Persuasion Revolution.

Sometimes It’s All about What You SAID

I grew up playing football. From the time I was eight years old until I was 18, every year was all about football. Unfortunately I wasn’t naturally big, strong, or fast. As a junior in high school I played outside linebacker at a strapping five foot nine inches tall and weight of 155 lbs., soaking wet.
Then something happened between my junior and senior year. I was taught to lift weights the right way by some power lifters and the difference was amazing! I put on 20 lbs. in just three months and by the time the next season rolled around, I was 30 lbs. heavier than the year before. It made a HUGE difference on the field.
Something my teammates and I were taught during those lifting sessions was the SAID principle. SAID stood for Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demands. What that means in layman’s terms is simply this – you get what you train for. Here are some examples:
  • If you lift heavy weights for low reps you get bigger and much stronger.
  • If you lift lighter weights for higher reps you get a little stronger and more defined (cut).
  • If you practice running in short hard bursts your ability to sprint will get better.
  • If you run at an easy pace for a long time you tend to become a better distance runner.

I think it’s obvious running long slow distances won’t help you get really fast in the 40-yard dash and lifting lighter weights will never make you as big and strong as people who lift massive amounts of weight. You get what you train for.
This philosophy applies to business skills as well. When you work on a particular skill you tend to improve that skill. However, if you don’t work on the skills required in your business you’ll only improve marginally. For example, walking gives some physical benefit but nothing like running distance or working on sprinting. So why do with think because we use our ears every day we’re getting better at listening? Just because we ask people questions on a daily basis does that necessarily make us good at questioning.
Persuasion is an everyday skill. According to Aristotle persuasion is the art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask. Each of us asks others to do things every day but does that make us good at the skill of persuasion? Having studied the topic for more than a dozen years and working with countless people over that time I can tell you with certainty it doesn’t make you better.
People and companies – some very smart people and very good companies – make basic mistakes routinely. In nearly every case small changes could make big differences. For example take a look at the screen shot from my Starbucks app. Notice anything?


In psychology there’s something we call the contrast phenomenon. What you experience first will impact what you experience next. When Starbucks puts “No Tip” first then $0.50 they make $1.00 and $2.00 seem much bigger by comparison. I have no doubt if they reversed the order the average tip would be much higher because after debating about the $2.00 tip, $1.00 doesn’t seem like too much. Not everyone will give more but enough will that baristas would do much better after giving their friendly service.
I’ve seen this same mistake made by organizations raising money via donations. Starting with $5 on the donation form then going to $10, $25, $50, etc., will never be as effective as starting with the highest number then going lower.
I could share many more examples but I think you get the picture. As I stated in the opening, doing something routinely doesn’t necessarily make you better at it. Taking time to focus on a skill to get better at it, like a golfer who practices consistently, will help you improve much faster and more efficiently. This is why everyone should take time to learn about the psychology of persuasion. Doing so will help your professional success and personal happiness. Did you hear what I SAID?
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.