We often hear that “money can’t buy happiness.” Yet a growing body of research suggests something more nuanced: how we spend our money matters.
According to new findings highlighted in Scientific American, spending on experiences—such as concerts, trips, meals, or classes—creates deeper feelings of connection, belonging, and well-being than spending on material goods.
This research is not only relevant to psychology—it also aligns closely with what we know about nonverbal behavior, body language, and how people build relationships through shared meaning.
If our experiences shape how we act, interact, and signal ourselves to others, then the choice between buying things and doing things may influence not just happiness, but how we show up socially and emotionally.
The Research: Experiences Foster Connection in Ways Objects Don’t
The research summarized by Scientific American draws from 13 experiments involving nearly 2,000 participants. In each study, people were asked to recall either a material purchase (like clothing or electronics) or an experiential purchase (like a trip or a live event).
Across the board, people who reflected on experiences reported:
- Greater happiness and overall emotional satisfaction
- A stronger sense of social connection, even to strangers
- More feelings of similarity and kinship with others who had the same experience
- Higher motivation to engage in social activities, rather than solitary ones
Crucially, these effects held true even when comparing “better” versus “worse” versions of the same purchase.
Someone who had a more expensive seat at a concert still felt connected to someone who went to the same event. But two people who bought the same type of physical product did not show the same bond.
Experiences, it seems, create shared identity in ways that objects cannot.
Why Experiences Create Stronger Bonds
Several psychological explanations help make sense of why experiences are so powerful for happiness and connection—and why this matters for reading people and understanding their nonverbal communication.
1. Experiences become part of identity
Experiences shape who we are. They influence our worldview, preferences, and the stories we tell. Because identity drives so much of our body language and nonverbal behavior—how we gesture, how we express emotion, how we communicate—shared experiences create an immediate sense of similarity and rapport.
2. Experiences reduce social comparison
Material goods tend to spark judgment and comparison (who has the newer phone, nicer car, more expensive bag). Experiences, by contrast, emphasize shared meaning rather than status. Even if two people had different versions of an experience, the common ground outweighs the differences.
3. Memories spark conversation and connection
Experiences give us stories, emotions, and moments we relive and retell. These memories fuel conversations and help people understand each other’s values—an important foundation for reading people accurately.
4. Experiences motivate social behavior
Reflecting on experiences seems to prime us toward sociability. People recalling experiential purchases expressed greater interest in spending time with others, engaging in group activities, and building relationships.
That matters because social motivation influences posture, eye contact, tone of voice, and other components of nonverbal communication that shape how others perceive us.
What This Means for Nonverbal Behavior and Reading People
For those who study or work with nonverbal behavior, this research carries several implications:
- Shared experiences shape expressive behavior. People who engage in more social experiences may display warmer body language, greater emotional openness, and clearer nonverbal signals.
- Connection changes how we interpret others. When we feel a sense of similarity or shared identity, we tend to read facial expressions and nonverbal cues more accurately.
- Experiences help people feel “seen.” Doing activities together creates opportunities for emotional expression—eye contact, laughter, touch, gestures—that deepen rapport.
- Material purchases don’t have the same interpersonal ripple effects. A new gadget might boost short-term mood, but it doesn’t typically alter how people interact or how connection is communicated nonverbally.
In other words: experiences don’t just make us happier—they make us more attuned, expressive, and receptive in our relationships.
A Practical Takeaway: Choose Doing Over Having
If your goal is to increase happiness, improve relationships, or deepen your ability to connect and read people, the research is clear: invest in experiences, not objects.
Experiences:
- Strengthen social bonds
- Boost happiness more sustainably
- Enhance nonverbal communication
- Encourage openness and shared understanding
- Build stories, not clutter
Whether it’s a trip, a workshop, a nature outing, or a live performance, what you do with others has far more impact on emotional well-being than what you own.
In a world where loneliness is rising, these findings offer hopeful clarity: connection is built in moments, not merchandise.
The post Why Experiences Boost Happiness and Connection first appeared on Humintell | Master the Art of Reading Body Language.
Humans often assume we’ve cornered the market on complex communication. But a new study suggests that another highly social species—the elephant—shares our ability to use intentional nonverbal gestures to influence others’ behavior.
At Humintell, we define nonverbal communication as “all the ways people transmit information, intentions, and emotions without words.” Our research—like the elephants’ experiment—shows that nonverbal communication is intentional, context-sensitive, and adaptive.
Elephants were selective about when they gestured—only when a human was watching. Similarly, in humans, nonverbal communication depends heavily on recipient design—we tailor gestures, tone, and facial expressions to fit the attention and awareness of our audience.
When elephants didn’t receive the full food reward, they didn’t give up—they persisted or elaborated their gestures. The same principle applies to human communicators: when a message doesn’t land, we often repeat, adjust, or escalate.
The elephant study doesn’t just expand our understanding of animal cognition—it also offers a mirror for human communicators. It suggests that the ability to intentionally gesture, persist, and adapt is not an evolutionary accident but a universal principle of social life.
Why This Matters: Autism Communication and Connection