This week I want to share a little trick I use to give my influence skills a jolt. I walk up to my library of books (yes I am a hardcopy book person and I have a small but focused library) and I just pick a book. I then turn to a page and review the notes I made either on my first or subsequent reading of the text.
I really find it helpful if I am facing a new problem, feeling a little flat or just looking for inspiration. Sometimes I will do on my way into the office in the morning or on my way out in the evening “just because”.
That is why I am a hardcopy book person. I write in the books. I share them with others and ask them to write in them, all the time value adding to the author’s original insights.
Recently I was really under the pump. I needed a positive influence hit so I reached for Guy Kawasaki’s influence inspired text Enchantment. It’s a great book and one that always helps me turn back toward the positive… and this day was no different.
I turned to page 24 in the 2011 text and the heading that I circled multiple times was
“Default to Yes”.
Under this heading Kawasaki says you need to adopt a yes attitude.
“This means your default response to people’s request is yes”.
Kawasaki goes on to say it isn’t a risky practice because at the start of a relationship most requests are small, simple and easy.
Another line I had underlined was “A yes buys you time, enables you to see more options, and builds rapport.”
As we know from the Principles of Persuasion Workshop, Sleuths of Influence continually invest in others so this is a great approach to trigger Reciprocity but also Liking because of the cooperation factor.
The next section of the book really got my attention and it is this idea I wanted to share…
“By contrast, a no response stops everything. There’s no place to go, nothing to build on, and no further options are available. You will never know what may have come out of a relationship if you don’t let it begin. At least, think “not yet” instead of no”.
In Australia this week we have a 3 day working week, sandwiched between Easter Monday and ANZAC day. So here’s your influence challenge. This week, for just three days adopt a default attitude toward yes and away from no and see what happens.
People will be under the pump, deadlines are tight, and worker numbers will be down due to those who have maximized the return on 3 days annual leave. Therefore this is a great time to default to yes and build some relationship points with others.
Give it a try. When people send you emails, call you or walk into your office, start with a default to yes attitude.
Kawasaki says,
Take my word for it: More people will like if you believe people are good until proven bad
Let me know how you go!
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Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Hardwired HumansWhy would a Global Healthcare company like Philips undertake a change management program in a zoo? The answer is they were following research revealed in Andrew O’Keefe’s book Hardwired Humans.In Australia/New Zealand, Philips had undergone four change programs in as many years preceding the unexpected global change program announced in 2009. Managing director Harry van Dyk and HR director Jo Hilyard admitted the company was suffering from “change fatigue” and a vastly different approach was required to that used previously.What happened next was a little unexpected for many. Philips took 30 of its leaders to Taronga Zoo in Sydney for a workshop that introduced them to the role basic human instincts play in the workplace. The workshop looked at nine hardwired instincts of humans and the leadership implications including the management of change. In one part of the program the leaders were addressed by The Jane Goodall Institute and its chimpanzee program to demonstrate the social and hierarchical structure off chimpanzees and the implications this has for modern business. Unexpectedly for the participants they discovered the comparisons between chimp and human social structures were numerous and provided a whole new perspective on resolving workplace challenges. One of the key insights was that the conventional wisdom that claims people resist change is wrong. We learned that humans, rather than being resistant to change, are actually hardwired to avoid loss. Upon hearing about a change people instantly screen their environment for the risk of loss. If we detect loss, we resist the change. If we detect gain, we support the change. If we are unsure about the impact of the change (and this is the big swinger), then we assume loss. This means that for organizational change we often have people unnecessarily erring toward loss and resistance, merely because people were unable to make sense of the impact of the change for them at the moment they first learned of it. (HR Monthly, March 2011, p30)The Persuasion ImplicationsThe implications for persuaders are clear. Through scarcity, we know that loss framing is more persuasive than focusing on the benefits of a thing. The final part of the above quote is very important because it highlights that under conditions in which the risk cannot be assessed the subject will assume loss if they have no other means to assess the risk.You may say great, scarcity is at play without you having to do anything to get people to take action. In reality the targets of influence, under this assumed loss, will employ coping mechanisms and strategies to protect themselves from that loss rather than take healthy proactive workplace behaviours.For example, in a change management project if the targets of influence assume loss because they have no other basis to assess the risk, they will then react against the project, at times for no other reason than they associate loss (i.e., of position, status, pay, etc.) with the project itself.Anyone who has managed a change project will tell you the reluctance at times seems unnecessary and ill informed; now you understand that it is a hardwired response to the subjects’ inability to assess risk, so they assume loss and react accordingly.Steps to Counter Perceived LossIf we know that people scan for loss in any situation before moving forward, it makes sense to manage this situation and brief the relevant staff fully on managing the default towards loss and reacting against the situation unnecessarily. By providing this briefing it is more likely to trigger reciprocity because you as the change agent have given them the information they require to assess the risk for themselves. Potentially it may even increase liking if you are then required to work together and you have already opened up the channel for cooperation. The warning however is, that left unattended to the development of a loss aversion mindset, this reaction may cause the audience to take a stand and trigger consistency, towards the negative and this could be all the momentum that is required to drive consensus in the wrong direction.So ask yourself these questions: 1. What risk is involved in your project, service or request? 2. Is it real or perceived?If the targets of influence are unable to assess the personal risk of loss for themselves (i.e., the risk is not clear or able to be easily understood), they will most likely assume loss and react against you and your project, service or request.Brief the targets of influence appropriately so they can adequately assess the risk from an informed position and give yourself every chance of success rather than having to start the influence process on the back foot. It may also be prudent to lobby support from others who already understand the project and during the briefing ask them to discuss the implications for their business area and support for the change. This simple step uses consensus to show others are already moving in the direction of the project not away from it and as we know when we are unsure of what we should do we look to the behaviour of others like us to guide our decisions.
Cheers!Anthony McLean, CMCT® Sources: From A to Zoo, HR Monthly March 2011 p28-30O’Keefe, A (2011) Hardwired Humans Roundtable Press.
I’ve observed something in the last few years that I think has helped me become a much more persuasive individual and I’d like to share it with you. It’s something simple that you can do if you’re willing to commit an extra 10 seconds every now and then when you’re communicating with others. Here it is – Ask one more question. That’s all; just ask one more question. The interesting thing is people feel compelled to answer questions so virtually everyone will answer you when you ask one more question. What you want to do is ask the question in the same email or conversation in which you provide help for someone.Imagine a coworker has reached out to you for assistance. They sent you an email because they needed some information or insight from you. You share your expertise with them and then you add one more question at the end of the email. That question might be something like one of the following:”Does that help?””Is that what you were looking for?””Is there anything else you need?”Why is asking one more question so important? I think there are three reasons.First, you’re confirming what you’ve provided is what they needed. There’s no miscommunication because they’ll reply to tell you it’s exactly what they were looking for or they’ll clarify and ask you more questions. Either way miscommunication is avoided.Second, your follow up question reinforces what you’ve done for the other person. This engages the principle of reciprocity. Should you ever need help in the future they’ll be very likely to return the favor because this principle of influence tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them. If you don’t do a quick follow up the other person might get what they need and simply move on without acknowledging what you’ve done for them. While it may seem rude to not acknowledge the help, many people don’t just want one more email. But, when you ask one more question is almost guaranteed they’ll reply.Third, and most importantly, when you ask one more question to make sure they got what they needed people seem to answer much more positively. What I’ve noticed is the response I get is much different than a simple “Thanks!” Here are a few responses I’ve received over the past month:”That is outstanding – thank you – you’re the best!””OMG yes thank you so much! I really appreciate you!””Yes, that makes sense to me. Thank you for reviewing.””Thanks. All good stuff!”I think you can see each response was much better than a simple, “Thank you.” Everyone wins. Each person I helped was very thankful. They felt better about me, which engaged liking, and my authority was enhanced in their eyes. I also benefitted because, as noted above, reciprocity was engaged. If I need help down the road don’t you think each of these people would happily step up to the plate? I know they would.My persuasion advice for you is this – ask one more question this week. Whether by email or phone, after you’ve responded to someone’s request for help ask, “Did that help?” or “Does that give you everything you need?” I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the responses you get. Over time you’ll find it translates into becoming a more persuasive individual.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® Chief Influence Officer influencePEOPLE Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Cialdini “Influence” Series! Would you like to learn more about influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini Method Certified Trainers from around the world.