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Rejection -The Insane Secret Sauce

Rejection

If you opened this post it is probably because you have been on the receiving end of rejection; a “No”, “Not this time”, “Let me think it over” or just a silent email account or phone call not being returned. 

Just the mention of the word ‘rejection’ triggers a reaction in our limbic brain.  The emotional control centre starts searching for the appropriate response; fight, flight or freeze.

However rejection is one of the best sharpening stones for our persuasive ability.  When you pitch an idea, make a request or lobby for change and get rejected, don’t drop your bundle.  Instead think “What can I have done differently?”

We have heard it before but Tim Ferris author of the 4-Hour Workweek was rejected 26 times before a publisher said yes; Stephen King was rejected 30 times before his book Carrie was accepted; and we all know that JK Rowling heard many many rejections before Harry Potter finally got his wand out at Hogwarts.

What therefore can we learn from a rejection?
1.   It Is Insane Not To Learn From Being Rejected

Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

If you get a “no” don’t do the same thing you have always done and expect a different outcome.

Break it down.  Look at your approach.  Look at the tools you used and find out why you missed the mark.

I have recently had the pleasure of collaborating with Cian Mcloughlin and Trinity Perspectives looking at the application of “Win/Loss Reviews”.  Cian is a great example of a guy who really gets it.

If you win, you need to know why?  If you lose, you need to know why?  The important thing is you need to have a process to fall back on to turn the “no” into a longer term success.

If you are getting rejected ask why.

It is a sign something needs to be fixed, something about your letter of introduction, your pitch, your offer, your website.  It’s broken so ask what you could have done differently and fix it.  Change one variable at a time so you can test and measure success.

2.  The Secret Sauce

But also think of rejection as your own special sauce.  The secret ingredients that will make your requests better than they ever have been before.

You can guarantee that you are not the only one getting rejected but how you deal with it will set you apart.

If others get rejected and drop out of the race, that means there is more opportunity for you.

If you missed the mark ask for feedback on how you could have improved.  If you missed out to a competitor ask how you could have approached it differently.  The answers you will get will give you an insight into the decision makers thought processes and will give you the blueprint for future persuasive appeals.

Ah-ha! The secret sauce!

Rejection is feedback telling you that you are not quite there yet.  Each time you get feedback, learn from it.  Each time you will get closer to the right ingredients to get to yes.

The other up side is when you get a rejection, it gives you time to focus on things you are good at and refine that to a higher degree.

Finally if someone tells you “no” it may be that they were not the right client for you!

 

Tell me what you love/hate about rejection.

 

 

The post Rejection -The Insane Secret Sauce appeared first on Social Influence Consulting Group.

How To Influence A Crisis

Influence A Crisis

A recent post on the Harvard Business Review Linked In Group by Anastasia Bagryantseva was simply titled “A crisis is a terrible thing to waste”. 

Members obviously resonated with the comment as it attracted 458 comments and 237 Likes (I didn’t bother looking at the Likes on the Comments or Comments on the Comments – that would just be crazy!)

But here is a question for you:

What does the comment “A crisis is a terrible thing to waste” mean for you?

For me I reflect on all sorts of events in my life that could qualify as a crisis.  I have experienced periods that were traumatic and required a critical decision to be made.  I have experienced a number of turning points that qualify as a crisis.  I have experienced emotionally stressful events that due to the heights of conflict and tension required me to deal with it head on and resolve the situation so I continue on.  Each and every crisis required me to do something different.

In the HBR group Helmar Schmidgall offered a different comment “wars bring havoc as well as major breakthroughs in technologies and changes in society”

Helmar is absolutely correct.  Why is it that in war, a terrible crisis, are new technologies created and society evolves faster that it does normally?  The answer is war is the trigger.  It creates an opportunity for people to make a decision, to be influenced to do something different and/or to exert influence over others.

We have all experienced a crisis of one sort or another.  But regardless of the size, a crisis by definition is a crucial stage or turning point in the course of something.  Therefore whether the crisis is real or perceived it is a great opportunity to influence others because of the situation it creates – think of a crisis as a trigger for change!  Yes at times it will be a big hairy unwanted trigger but a trigger none the less.

A crisis as a trigger for change! 

Therefore if a crisis hits you or your organisation I can guarantee it will bring a healthy dose of uncertainty with it.  You often won’t know with certainty what you should do to resolve the crisis.  Therefore the use of Consensus and Authority will be extremely powerful in moving people in your desired direction.  If you are the one experiencing the crisis look outside of yourself toward the actions of those most like you or seek the advice of a recognised expert.

If the crisis involves others then look to the relationship.  This is the perfect time to build, repair or enhance your relationship with them – why because in a crisis no one wants to be alone!  Identify the things you have in common.  Work together to get through the crisis.  Praise them for what they are doing well.  If it is significant for them give them the gift of your time, expertise, network or effort.  Whatever you decide to do, show people they are not alone and don’t be afraid to throw the pronoun “we” around.  “We” is the fastest and easiest way to describe a relationship.  If it is you that is in crisis look to friends or those you have a working relationship to help you work your way through it.

Finally, be mindful of your reaction to the crisis.  If you, your organisation or someone else is experiencing a crisis, be careful of just focusing on the impending loss.  If Scarcity is at play and loss is a reality (hence the word crisis) be sure to show the other person the clear steps to move away from the loss.  If it is you, look to the steps you can take to mitigate loss and move out of the Scarcity mindset into a problem solving, action focused solution.

The biggest thing is breath.  Slow down and think about the opportunities you have to influence a crisis.

Here’s your chance!  Tell me about how you influenced (or could have differently influenced) your way out of a crisis!

 

 

The post How To Influence A Crisis appeared first on Social Influence Consulting Group.

The Answer is Reciprocity

What could make a concept circulate via news and social media for 13 years that does not include a scam warning, a joke or someone doing something stupid?  The answer is Reciprocity!

On Friday I read a post on LinkedIn that contained this picture:

 The Answer is Reciprocity

What was your reaction when you read it?

Mine was: Wow! 

As a student of Persuasion I was impressed at the simplicity of the approach yet the absolute power of its message.

For context here is the back story.  This particular sign is in the window of Plaza Dry cleaners in Portland Oregon and there are links to it on their Yelp page dating back to October 2011.

But it didn’t start there.  A New York Daily article from 2011 traced this “free dry cleaning for unemployed people looking for work” approach to an Upper East Side dry cleaner, First Professional Cleaners.  The owners Carlos and Arelis Vasquez first posted the handwritten sign after September 11 as their way of giving a helping hand to those in need.  Carlos Vasquez said the approach had paid dividends with many people who used the service and then secured jobs.  Vasquez would take the sign down when employment was high and posted again it when times got tougher such as after the GFC.

It is no surprise that the idea got news and social media attention and in 2011 it went viral with dry cleaners all over the US following suit (no pun intended).

Vasquez’s gesture however; of giving to those who need a hand, at a time they need it  most; was meaningful to the recipient; it was customised for the job seeker, in that it was not an option that was open to everyone in the community; and it certainly was unexpected for most.

Therefore the very simple message contained in a handwritten sign saw a well intended gesture turn into a 13 year viral international marketing campaign.  How does your marketing stack up to that?

Here’s the Challenge for You

By giving first and triggering Reciprocity, what impact do you think a sign such as this have on a small community business?

Here are my views on the impact to the business:

1.  The business will directly benefit from those who take up the offer.

If they get a job they will need to clean their clothes somewhere – obvious Reciprocity.
They will create a raving fan/advocate for the business who will tell everyone about the service and why they love them so much! Simple Consensus at play.
Even if the unemployed customer doesn’t get the job, they will still be positively engaged with the business and spread the word about the good deeds of the business who at least tried to help them out – the businesses success is not tied to the outcome of getting the job.  The relationship was formed in helping them try and get it!

2.  Those who currently use the dry cleaner will feel better about the type of business they use to clean their clothes.  They will be more inclined to remain loyal to that business for longer because of what they stand for and the values of the business.  By existing customers identifying with the values of the business this builds Liking and a relationship directly with them.

Existing customers also now have a good news story to tell their friends about the type of businesses they use and derive positive association and validation through their choice of cleaner.

3.  Those who have a job and don’t use the dry cleaner will be more inclined to use them because of what they are giving to the community – again the similarity through values and Liking is addressed in point 2.

The Contrast Phenomenon is also in play if their existing cleaner does little to engage with them and maintain the relationship.  The sign could be the trigger to try something new!  Without this trigger there is not impetus to change so people often keep doing what they have always done.  With the trigger there is an opportunity for change.

4.  Internally of the business, the owners, the employees, and even their suppliers, all become more engaged and essentially proud of the place they work.  It allows the employees to live their brand and have a positive good news story to tell about work and also the impact it is having on the lives of others.  It gives them ownership and they play a direct part in that good news story.  As a result they become a happier. more productive and engaged workforce.

5.  Rather than “giving back to the community”, this is a classic example of “giving to the community”.  Giving back implies the community had to go first.  In this circumstance the unemployed and the community didn’t need to do anything to benefit from this gift.  In “giving to the community” this small business stands to reap the numerous benefits mentioned above and because it is a genuine approach rather than a marketing scam, the cash register will ring as a result and people will feel good about it.

6.  Finally this is an example of where things are done with no expectation of return, therefore the return is often greater.  In terms of media and PR this story has gone international and equates to millions in advertising spend.  By way of example I am in Australia talking about a business in New York and I feel more positively toward them – all because they went first and gave something meaningful to those who most needed it.

How can you do something for others in your business?

Not for the desire of return, but just because you identify with it and it is within your means to do so.

Don’t ever be afraid to tell people about the great things you are doing for others.  I can’t value you if you don’t tell me what you have done!

When it is genuine it is never seen as bragging.  When smugglers do it, it all too obvious.

Have a great week.

Source:

http://www.nydailynews.com/2.1353/east-side-dry-cleaner-helping-jobless-free-spruceup-interview-garb-article-1.369155